The pills...

[Borchester]

I take medication every morning and evening, except when I forget which is quite often. And this Perking Pox isn't helping because the drugs are for diabetes and high blood pressure and that thing that you don't get if you eat Stork margarine. But the Sino Snots mean that I have spent more time than usual gardening and pottering around the house fixing things that the builder wants me to take out a second mortgage to fix, which I don't really mind because there aren't any pockets in a shroud but the bloody builders never turn up and I end up with mega earache anyway. So I carry on burning up mild quantities of flab and sugar which lowers the blood pressure and sugar levels and being cheered up because the sunshine creates Vitamin D which perks everyone up and much of the time I don't take the pills.

But they are there and if I don't waste the NHS's money it bloody well will so what I have done is get hold of 14 medicine bottles, labelled each with the day of the week and if it is morning or evening and filled them with my weekly drug supply. I then put the bottles in a bag and every day I take the bottles out until I find the right one, take the pills and then put the bottle to one side.

Yesterday afternoon was the start of the drug week so I had 14 bottles and the last bottle out of the bag was the one for Monday PM. And this morning I had to do the same thing to reach the Tuesday AM bottle. So I turned to Madam and said that was amazing and that the odds were 1:182 so it should only happen twice a year and she said that was nice and now that I had my medication sorted out maybe I would not have to sneak off to the allotment and could start on the shower room instead.

She is a good lass but her background is in the Humanities and she has no respect for the laconic beauty of maths