wife jokes

[johnofgwent]

I like it, but maybe I had best not tell it to Madam 

She's heard it. Well actually in her version it's a wild night sinking Gin and Prosecco cocktails after which she wakes up next to me.


That's the problem when your household comprises a wife, two daughters, a granddaughter, a female cat, two female hamsters and about sixty tropical fish mist of whom are female.


When the only male company in lockdown is half a dozen or so guppies and your eyesight isn't so good so you aren't sure a couple aren't XX spies, it feels like you're outnumbered very, very quickly...

[cromwell]

Reminds me of the bloke who said to his wife
"If I won the lottery what would you do?"

She said " Take half the money and leave you"

"Great"says he "I won £20 here's a tenner keep in touch"

[GerryT]

Hey gerry did you hear this wan?


After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Paddy woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

I invented that one.
Think this one is Scottish
'I tried to re-marry my ex-wife. But she figured out I was only after my money 

[Borchester]

Hey gerry did you hear this wan?


After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Paddy woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

I like it, but maybe I had best not tell it to Madam 

[Thomas]

It's causing problems in NI, lorries are getting from NI to the UK without a problem as their in the same CU, but those lorries would usually bring foods/goods back and not return empty handed, but a large percentage of lorries that went over from NI are now stuck in the UK, getting out full seems to be a big problem. Two things have happened, NI has a  shortage of deliveries from GB and NI suppliers to the UK are finding there's very few lorries available (want to) deliver to the UK as they know their return trip will take days or they have to come back empty.

Hey gerry did you hear this wan?


After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Paddy woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely.