Just spoken to the doctor

[Borchester]

 

Maybe you should have said you have been on your knees a lot lately as you had been scrubbing doctors' toilets as a charitable thought for them in these troubled times. He might have at least sent you some knee pads.

Or even a brush 

[Borchester]

That'll be T00ts giggle done, then.
When I was in Dudley I helped with the knee hip and shoulder replacement clinic.
They were mostly people who had worked too hard in their lifetimes, miners, steelworkers and the like.

I therefore recommend not working too hard. It mucks up your body with a capital F.

Very true.

As the old saying goes, hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the risk?

[Barry]

That'll be T00ts giggle done, then.
When I was in Dudley I helped with the knee hip and shoulder replacement clinic.
They were mostly people who had worked too hard in their lifetimes, miners, steelworkers and the like.

I therefore recommend not working too hard. It mucks up your body with a capital F.

[Sheepy]

One of those telephone consultations so I did not need to wash, shave or even put on clean underpants which cheered me up to start with.

Anyway he asked what was wrong and I said my knees hurt and he said when did it start and I replied about three years ago. And he went a bit quiet because they were supposed to look into the matter but never have. Although to be fair, they did talk about knee replacements but the way I look at it, the originals may be a bit worn but they are still better than whatever plastic crap that the NHS can pick up on special offer from China. I mean, I don't want to sound prejudiced, but how well has the bat soup flu worked out?

So he started the usual bollocks out it being my fault because I smoked and drank and peed in the sink and I said that I had given up on the first two and I could see that he was feeling cornered. And then he asked what had I been doing recently and I thought, you jammy bastard, with one bound Doc D*ckHe*d was free.

Because what I had been doing, along with a hundred or so other cripples, was working my allotment. And the thing about allotments and gardening in general is that you spend most of your time leaning on a spade or trotting behind a lawn mower which is sod all work and if you do get a twinge you sit down and talk bollocks to your mates until you feel better.

But of course the bugger had me outflanked and I had to listen to a load of pretentious bollocks about not being as young as I was and pacing myself.

Head dick

Maybe you should have said you have been on your knees a lot lately as you had been scrubbing doctors' toilets as a charitable thought for them in these troubled times. He might have at least sent you some knee pads. Maybe even a little note, keep up the good work.

[Borchester]

One of those telephone consultations so I did not need to wash, shave or even put on clean underpants which cheered me up to start with.

Anyway he asked what was wrong and I said my knees hurt and he said when did it start and I replied about three years ago. And he went a bit quiet because they were supposed to look into the matter but never have. Although to be fair, they did talk about knee replacements but the way I look at it, the originals may be a bit worn but they are still better than whatever plastic crap that the NHS can pick up on special offer from China. I mean, I don't want to sound prejudiced, but how well has the bat soup flu worked out?

So he started the usual bollocks out it being my fault because I smoked and drank and peed in the sink and I said that I had given up on the first two and I could see that he was feeling cornered. And then he asked what had I been doing recently and I thought, you jammy bastard, with one bound Doc Dickhead was free.

Because what I had been doing, along with a hundred or so other cripples, was working my allotment. And the thing about allotments and gardening in general is that you spend most of your time leaning on a spade or trotting behind a lawn mower which is sod all work and if you do get a twinge you sit down and talk bollocks to your mates until you feel better.

But of course the bugger had me outflanked and I had to listen to a load of pretentious bollocks about not being as young as I was and pacing myself.

Head dick