The daughter, her wife, ex husband and three children have just moved into

[Borchester]

A quiet Christmas at home can be really enjoyable, Borky, especially if the alternative is a steamy bunch of middle aged kids glaring at each other over a turkey crown. Sorry, I bet that's a noturkey crown, isn't it?

Ain't that the truth.

A year or so back the Christmas truce did not materialise and the daughter rang to say that under the circumstances she thought it best not to see us for the Yuletide festivities. I wept, I pleaded, I offered bribes but nothing worked. So I put the phone down, took my wife in my arms and danced round the room with her.

[Borchester]

I had to read that title more than once ...

'The Daughter, her WIFE, EX HUSBAND and ....'

Bloody Hell...

I mean OK I recall a mate of mine about 20 years ago declaring "his missus was leaving him and f**king off to the Republic of Ireland with her lesbian lover so his former girlfriend of some 15 years earlier, who he stood up when he married the wife who was now leaving him, was moving in with him" but that seems a little tame in comparison

Strange, but amazingly enough, it works

[papasmurf]

Yes, a Christmas with Nigella Lawson is also quite an attractive prospect, I'm sure Borky would agree.

Especially in that red dressing gown

[Borchester]

Yes, a Christmas with Nigella Lawson is also quite an attractive prospect, I'm sure Borky would agree.

I am not a young man any more, but the thought does bring a twinkle to my geriatric eye

[Barry]

Yes, a Christmas with Nigella Lawson is also quite an attractive prospect, I'm sure Borky would agree.

[papasmurf]

A quiet Christmas at home can be really enjoyable, 

It is. Whether my wife and I use plan A, picnic on the beach, plan B, barbecue in the back garden, or plan C, a Christmas dinner inspired by Raymond Blanc, Adam Johnson, (Raymond's Development Chef,) Nigella Lawson and Gok Wan, is weather dependent.

[Barry]

A quiet Christmas at home can be really enjoyable, Borky, especially if the alternative is a steamy bunch of middle aged kids glaring at each other over a turkey crown. Sorry, I bet that's a noturkey crown, isn't it?

[johnofgwent]

I had to read that title more than once ...

'The Daughter, her WIFE, EX HUSBAND and ....'

Bloody Hell...

I mean OK I recall a mate of mine about 20 years ago declaring "his missus was leaving him and fucking off to the Republic of Ireland with her lesbian lover so his former girlfriend of some 15 years earlier, who he stood up when he married the wife who was now leaving him, was moving in with him" but that seems a little tame in comparison

[Borchester]

a five bedroom  house house that has more draughts than the Millennium Stadium.

None of them can drive a nail into a wall without three house meetings, another one with the local LBGTQ chapter and confirmation that the hammer is indeed non racist.

And we have been invited up.

I ain't going said my son.

It is your big sister, you little sod, I replied. Of course you are going.

I am going replied my lad, but I won't enjoy it.

I will try to put matters off until the New Year. The whole business has a horrible appeal, but I ain't going to admit it