The old fart's garden

[johnofgwent]

The internet is dead (pun intended) against scattering ashes on the ground, so it is probably ok because anything the tree huggers have to say is automatically bollocks. Plus, a couple of years back some arsehole put down rat poison, which resulted in the poor sods freezing to death. Or would have done had I not put them out of their misery with a crack on the head with my garden spade. Be that as it may be, the corpses ended up on a bonfire, the ashes of which I sprinkled around the apple trees which have done fine.

You are right about planters. I use tubs which I fill with grass and kitchen waste. Easy to fill and empty and no digging.

At the risk of repeating myself, folk seem to confuse effective work with breaking their arses

If you have a piece of freehold land you are in fact fully entitled to dig a six foot deep hole ... you do need to tell the coroner (!!) but the only authority that can stop you is the water board and only then if they can provide reasonable evidence the corpse will pollute a water course.

I found this out when i was instructed as executor to dispose of my father in law's body with the absolute minimum of ceremony. I asked dad's pal tbe home office pathologist what i my options were.

the only other issue is any 'plantings' on the grave site must be permanent

mum wanted dads ashes scattered at sea at his favourite resort.

this would require taking the ashes about two miles out. Feasible for us but tiring as the area is a no motors wildlife SSI

She did ask about surreptitiously wandering up to the cliff snd shaking the urn out in the wind. I said screw that tbe prevailing wind there blows ONTO land.

in the end he went on tbe crem's rose garden. So did mum

[Borchester]

My best mate's missus had all manner of serious mobility issues for a good ten years, no, longer than that before the reaper collected her a year and a half ago.

When her condition made digging her garden impossible john built home made wooden trough type containers from old pallettes and lined them with that stuff you put in hanging baskets, and she was going great guns.

He did ask me about the etiquette of spreading her ashes on them.

I told him as an atheist i didn't give a flying one but as a biochemist i suggested it was probably ok on the section she used to grow roses in the front garden but it was possibly a step too far to put her on the veg patch.

And then i suggested we crack open the lagavulin and i seem to remember bawling my fucking eyes out along with him about two thirds down the bottle...

The internet is dead (pun intended) against scattering ashes on the ground, so it is probably ok because anything the tree huggers have to say is automatically bollocks. Plus, a couple of years back some arsehole put down rat poison, which resulted in the poor sods freezing to death. Or would have done had I not put them out of their misery with a crack on the head with my garden spade. Be that as it may be, the corpses ended up on a bonfire, the ashes of which I sprinkled around the apple trees which have done fine.

You are right about planters. I use tubs which I fill with grass and kitchen waste. Easy to fill and empty and no digging.

At the risk of repeating myself, folk seem to confuse effective work with breaking their arses

[Borchester]

Apart from the arthritis Borky I haven't got a clue what you are on about . Ive had cortisone injections ,toes pinned ,physio and various drugs in attempt to get back out there to build the homes for the masses . Not that I get any thanks for it 

You are a good lad SW, but clearly afflicted with the nervous habit of work, which is what I am trying to cut out.

[johnofgwent]

My best mate's missus had all manner of serious mobility issues for a good ten years, no, longer than that before the reaper collected her a year and a half ago. 

When her condition made digging her garden impossible john built home made wooden trough type containers from old pallettes and lined them with that stuff you put in hanging baskets, and she was going great guns. 

He did ask me about the etiquette of spreading her ashes on them.

I told him as an atheist i didn't give a flying one but as a biochemist i suggested it was probably ok on the section she used to grow roses in the front garden but it was possibly a step too far to put her on the veg patch.

And then i suggested we crack open the lagavulin and i seem to remember bawling my fucking eyes out along with him about two thirds down the bottle...

[Streetwalker]

The story so far.

The arthritis means that my knees and hands are buggered and when one of the neighbours complained that I had reversed my mobility scooter into him, I apologised and said that I could not turn my head so was unable to promise to do it again.

Not that I wouldn't like too. He is a dreary bastard in any language, but these days to me, the only way is forward.

But that leaves me with 20 rods of allotment to maintain and a gardener who has pissed off to Holy Island to write poetry in the rain. Still, nil desperandum or as Horace said, oh Christ, what do we do now? Well, what I have done is started to grow in 30 litre tubs filled with grass and compost. This means that there is no digging and that the tubs and their contents are light enough to be manhandled.

So far I have planted 93 Pentland Javelin in 23 tubs ( 4 to a tub except the last which had 5) and 10 Desiree in 5 tubs.

I shall keep you guys informed of future progress

Apart from the arthritis Borky I haven't got a clue what you are on about . Ive had cortisone injections ,toes pinned ,physio and various drugs in attempt to get back out there to build the homes for the masses . Not that I get any thanks for it  

[Borchester]

The story so far.

The arthritis means that my knees and hands are buggered and when one of the neighbours complained that I had reversed my mobility scooter into him, I apologised and said that I could not turn my head so was unable to promise to do it again.

Not that I wouldn't like too. He is a dreary bastard in any language, but these days to me, the only way is forward.

But that leaves me with 20 rods of allotment to maintain and a gardener who has pissed off to Holy Island to write poetry in the rain. Still, nil desperandum or as Horace said, oh Christ, what do we do now? Well, what I have done is started to grow in 30 litre tubs filled with grass and compost. This means that there is no digging and that the tubs and their contents are light enough to be manhandled.

So far I have planted 93 Pentland Javelin in 23 tubs ( 4 to a tub except the last which had 5) and 10 Desiree in 5 tubs.

I shall keep you guys informed of future progress