Afghani refugees

[Barry]

I love that post, Borchester! 

[T00ts]

It's so noble of you to take one for the sake of international relations. Dom Raab should take note.

[cromwell]

A family of them have moved onto the allotment next to me. They call themselves Somali but I reckon it is like Romanians calling themselves Poles, they are really of the Taliban tendency.

Anyway, one of the kids is a girl of about ten and she asked if she could have some of my windfalls and I said pray go ahead. I strongly approve of scrumping and have no idea what to do with potentially three hundredweight of apples. So all to the good.

And then she came back with her mum and a pot of basil. To be honest, I have never really cared for basil. It always reminds me of that painting by Millais with that doe eyed git Lorenzo trying his luck. Even so, I said ta very much and would she care for some rhubarb because I don't and if I try to give it away all my neighbours say oh Christ, here comes that annoying sod with truckloads of rhubarb again, lets go and hide.

But mum seemed to belong to some society for the adoration of rhubarb, because she took away industrial quantities of the stuff.

And then she returned with a pot of coriander, which she said, a pros of nothing, is good for fatties with diabetes. Her old man pitched up and stood in the background rolling his eyes and I thought, yes mate, some things are international. But even so, I thanked her and asked if the kids would like some blackberries, plums and whatever else was lying about? And she said yes and the kids (there is a boy of five as well who can eat for Somalia like all well bred five year old boys) started looting.

And a few days later they returned with an apple, rhubarb, blackberry, plum and whatever else the kids managed to find cake, which was delicious. And I told her so. Whereupon she returned with my weight in apple, rhubarb, blackberry, plum and whatever else the kids managed to find cake.

So, on the plus side I now have some lovely new neighbours. On the downside, the cake is delicious but I have spent the last week crapping through the eye of a needle

[Borchester]

A family of them have moved onto the allotment next to me. They call themselves Somali but I reckon it is like Romanians calling themselves Poles, they are really of the Taliban tendency.

Anyway, one of the kids is a girl of about ten and she asked if she could have some of my windfalls and I said pray go ahead. I strongly approve of scrumping and have no idea what to do with potentially three hundredweight of apples. So all to the good.

And then she came back with her mum and a pot of basil. To be honest, I have never really cared for basil. It always reminds me of that painting by Millais with that doe eyed git Lorenzo trying his luck. Even so, I said ta very much and would she care for some rhubarb because I don't and if I try to give it away all my neighbours say oh Christ, here comes that annoying sod with truckloads of rhubarb again, lets go and hide.

But mum seemed to belong to some society for the adoration of rhubarb, because she took away industrial quantities of the stuff.

And then she returned with a pot of coriander, which she said, a pros of nothing, is good for fatties with diabetes. Her old man pitched up and stood in the background rolling his eyes and I thought, yes mate, some things are international. But even so, I thanked her and asked if the kids would like some blackberries, plums and whatever else was lying about? And she said yes and the kids (there is a boy of five as well who can eat for Somalia like all well bred five year old boys) started looting.

And a few days later they returned with an apple, rhubarb, blackberry, plum and whatever else the kids managed to find cake, which was delicious. And I told her so. Whereupon she returned with my weight in apple, rhubarb, blackberry, plum and whatever else the kids managed to find cake.

So, on the plus side I now have some lovely new neighbours. On the downside, the cake is delicious but I have spent the last week crapping through the eye of a needle