An Educated Man .....

[johnofgwent]

OK, quick jump to the PC and I see a load of things in the browser have been mucked with overnight by, of all things, a malware detector the IT director suggested.

RIGHT THAT is coming RIGHT OFF my phone RIGHT NOW and I've edited the post in the PC. Pink Times New Roman indeed. Whatever next

[T00ts]

Something definitely wrecked my phone !

     

[johnofgwent]

Something seems to have turned your head this morning.

Something definitely wrecked my phone !

[T00ts]

Something seems to have turned your head this morning. 

[johnofgwent]

I may have said this before, but watching Cummerbatch perform Hamlet streamed on Amazon Prime last night brought it back.

Well, that plus the fact the original incident was around this time of year.

One of the strangest things a hospital nurse has ever called me is "an educated man"

I had very foolishly the day before, while fitting a new kitchen worktop in our newly extended home, taken off the eye goggles I was wearing to cut the hole for the sink before kneeling down to look under the worktop to check the sealant was properly applied

Some powdered fragments of the worktop board fell as fine dust ... right into my eye.

The problem was the material used to make that worktop decomposed to release ammonia.

I woke screaming at 5am or so. Satan was jabbing my eye with his military grade pitchfork or so it felt.

Moira took me to the hospital where very quickly a nurse called for three or four pints of sterile saline as used for I/v lines and three big men.


Wondering what the **** treatment they were planning, I guess she read my expression of concern. She explained that it was going to be necessary to flush my eye with ice cold saline using the I/v tube without a needle, but the stream of fluid was going to hurt like hell....

Hence the big men ... I was at that time doing work involving climbing radio and radar towers on a regular basis and while not likely to win any lumberjacking competitions ... She wasn't taking any chances.

I said I knew a fair bit about meditation and the like and if she waited a few minutes until I appeared to be wearing a silly grin .....

And off I went into the land of the gurus....

Ten minutes later it was all over. And the blokes seemed quite surprised they hadn't been needed.

Packing away the kit, a little alarm chime went off on the nurses watch. Ah, she said, five to six. Five more minutes and I'm off shift, home to sleep, perchance to dream .....

Hang on, I said. Don't you know where that comes from.....

She said "vaguely. It's Shakespeare isn't it"

Yes, I said. It's Hamlets most well known sililoquy. And off I went, reciting from long distant memory of a script studied in my teens for English Literature and a school play for Drama.

So, I said, Hamlet, knowing his father was murdered by his father's ambitious brother who now wears the crown, and screws the queen nightly, wishes for death to take him and ponders what blessings await him when the eternal sleep in the land from which no traveller returns comes to him ...

Ah, my mistress of torture replied, it's such a wonderful thing to have an EDUCATED man as a patient ... you threaten to strap them to a bed and be restrained by rough men while you pour ice cold water into their eyes, and after you do, they quote poetry to you .............

And in that thought, I must be away to my daily toil. Good morning all, and look out, because any minute now, before you've had time to blink, it will be Christmas ....