How to deal with nuisance mobile phones

[Baron von Lotsov]

I thought I'd give it a go, bought a few helium balloons, and ready to roll.  As soon as I come back down to earth.  I can see Lapland and Santa's Grotty from here.  Phone reception is excellent. ::

Do it bang on midnight and mention something to do with a Millennium II bug affecting Apple phones!

[Scott777]

I thought I'd give it a go, bought a few helium balloons, and ready to roll.  As soon as I come back down to earth.  I can see Lapland and Santa's Grotty from here.  Phone reception is excellent. ::

[Baron von Lotsov]

If you start banning mobile phones then what about old-fashioned people who read books or magazines, or even worse, newspapers?  One forgets how annoying it can be to be in close proximity to someone who's reading a newspaper.  Of course the old solution to the nuisance newspaper problem could be found in a box of matches, but that would be frowned upon these days.

Mobiles piss me off when they go off and the owner assigns top priority over guests they many be in the company of who have made far more effort to come and meet them face to face. Newspapers do not interupt conversations.

[Hyperduck Quack Quack]

If you start banning mobile phones then what about old-fashioned people who read books or magazines, or even worse, newspapers?  One forgets how annoying it can be to be in close proximity to someone who's reading a newspaper.  Of course the old solution to the nuisance newspaper problem could be found in a box of matches, but that would be frowned upon these days.

[Baron von Lotsov]

Assuming this is as you say, how do you administer the helium without getting all squeaky-voiced or disabling your own phone and/or watch...?

I hear the Apple products are known to be susceptible. You could arm yourself with a basic 90s phone which uses a quartz crystal and it would work with any amount of helium. It's stuff built in the last 10 years or so which uses MEMS.



It happened at the Goddard Space Centre. Upstairs apparently they were working on some satellite where they dumped tons of helium in the room to purge the oxygen for some clean room preparation, and the helium penetrated through the concrete. It's this property of helium that it does seep through solid material that makes it screw the phones up. The MEMS are protected in a box of silicon, but silicon is no defence. The squeaky voice would only happen if the concentration were much higher. 1-2% is completely unnoticeable to a human.

[patman post]

Are you sick of it, like when you have people around and they constantly use their phone, or the people on the train wont shut up with their one way conversations, which often go yea, uh yea, yea...?



Well it just so happens that you can put their phones out of action for a good few hours with some helium. An atmospheric content of between 1-2% is all that is needed, and that will bugger the phone, but only temporarily. The reason is they use MEMS oscillators and they go haywire when a bit of helium defuses into them. Older phones are unaffected, but the ones in the last few years all have this vulnerability, as would any other small computing device. MEMS are used because they save space.

Assuming this is as you say, how do you administer the helium without getting all squeaky-voiced or disabling your own phone and/or watch...?

[Churchill]

::  :hattip

[DeppityDawg]

Pity it doesn't work on fecking internet forums

[Baron von Lotsov]

Yes I'm aware of them. You can do all sorts of things if you want to hack phones, like you can be your own mobile base station!



However, as you point out, interfering with telecommunications equipment is illegal because you are effectively a hacker and are using the airwaves not as you should. There's no law outlawing helium balloons though.

[papasmurf]

Are you sick of it, like when you have people around and they constantly use their phone, or the people on the train wont shut up with their one way conversations, which often go yea, uh yea, yea...?

These are not legal for use in Britain but they do work. (Lost of other sites available.) Mobile phone jammers widely in France in cinemas, theatres and restaurants.



http://www.jammer4uk.com/">http://www.jammer4uk.com/

[Baron von Lotsov]

Are you sick of it, like when you have people around and they constantly use their phone, or the people on the train wont shut up with their one way conversations, which often go yea, uh yea, yea...?



Well it just so happens that you can put their phones out of action for a good few hours with some helium. An atmospheric content of between 1-2% is all that is needed, and that will bugger the phone, but only temporarily. The reason is they use MEMS oscillators and they go haywire when a bit of helium defuses into them. Older phones are unaffected, but the ones in the last few years all have this vulnerability, as would any other small computing device. MEMS are used because they save space.