Haven't seen my allotment for three days

[johnofgwent]

And won't see it for another two.

I am working on the Rural Slum, in the land God forgot (ie  outside the M25)

The job has to be done and I don't like to make a fuss, but how do I know that by Saturday my allotment won't have gotten up and run away?

If your vegetables have grown legs and run off I urge you to round up any vegetables already harvested, lock them away and dial 999 and ask for Nuclear Hazmat. The levels of mutagenic compounds in the soil need urgent investigation.

A few years ago my wife could have kept it quiet for you but she no longer works on that department of the civil service.

[cromwell]

And won't see it for another two.

I am working on the Rural Slum, in the land God forgot (ie  outside the M25)

The job has to be done and I don't like to make a fuss, but how do I know that by Saturday my allotment won't have gotten up and run away?

Well it could be worse.it could be part of a nuclear wasteland that Sputum has threatened

[Borchester]

And won't see it for another two.

I am working on the Rural Slum, in the land God forgot (ie  outside the M25)

The job has to be done and I don't like to make a fuss, but how do I know that by Saturday my allotment won't have gotten up and run away?