Traffic Calming Measures

[johnofgwent]

:hattip

[Javert]

So on very rare occasions, I put pen to paper on some kind of rhyme or poem.  In a view to relieving the lockdown induced boredom, or alternatively pushing you further over the edge towards self extermination, I'll post one here every so often.



After seeing last night those new Starlink satellites of Elon's, parading across the sky like they own the place, I remembered this one that I wrote nearly 10 years ago.  This was on an evening after some particularly tedious Parish Council discussions about speeding complaints, followed by a few glasses of wine, followed by going outside to view the International Space station passing overhead:



Traffic Calming Measures – Summer 2011



One Summers' evening I gazed out

In wonder at the sky.

I saw one star was moving

as the ISS flew by.



A Shining Beacon always there

it's man's forget-me-not.

A thousand years of progress made

this small white flashing dot.



But "Houston there's a problem"

Calls out Major Tom one day

"Unauthorised transmissions

Beamed at us from the UK."



"Hello" the astronauts they called

"What is it that you need?"

The terse reply – "You crossed our village

carrying excess speed."



"Oh yes! We clocked you as you passed

Across our Kingsmead Tower.

We clocked your speed at ten thousand

four Hundred miles per hour.



Please keep your speed to 20

As you traverse through our stars,

And watch out crossing Monarch Drive

For dangerously parked cars.



So as you cross the stars in search

Of scientific treasures,

Be aware we're contemplating

Traffic calming measures."