Miriam Gargoyle

[Borg Refinery]

He seizes every thread like a terrier with a rat's neck in its mouth. Any thread that is "smurfed" is usually in intensive care by the 2nd page.



DD threads on the other hand, are designed with certain "anti-smurf" measures already built in, so this one survived to 10 pages. Anyone who wishes to add this software to their own threads, contact me by PM. I accept credit cards, PayPal and money transfers.

Yes he did do that to you,your thread.  ::







Almost more like a ratty little terrier pup that bites its own neck off; He destroys his own threads too which is what always makes me laugh.   ::



But he's ruined so many of my threads on UKD it pisses me off, he then started a thread in suggestions & feedback asking to get me in trouble.



It was promptly locked and he was told in no uncertain terms to stfu and he was lucky not to get points himself.  ::

[DeppityDawg]

Another thread successfully ruined by papasmurf.  :clp



Incidentally, seeing as it's all gone to shite..I just read about 'Yer Granny' doing the rounds on stage, this Gargoyle woman pales in comparison to great actors like that bloke. Only good theatre plays are comedic ones imho.



Rabid dogs like paps who wants to shag/bite IDS's leg off will never understand that word - comedy.

He seizes every thread like a terrier with a rat's neck in its mouth. Any thread that is "smurfed" is usually in intensive care by the 2nd page.



DD threads on the other hand, are designed with certain "anti-smurf" measures already built in, so this one survived to 10 pages. Anyone who wishes to add this software to their own threads, contact me by PM. I accept credit cards, PayPal and money transfers.

[DeppityDawg]

A recent Glaswegian pollster interviewed fifty barmen in and around glasgow and they were asked if they could identify a customers

personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK THESE DRINKS IN A PUB ... (NOT AT HOME)

BEER

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.



COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA

Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.

Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.



MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / Whiskey and a wee drap o water ::

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants

Approach: If she wants you, shell send YOU a drink.



WATER

Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.

Approach: Dont.



WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.



BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.

Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and youre in.



SPIRITS SUCH AS CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT

Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!

Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually youre in!



CAPE VELVET

Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.

Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.



SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, COWBOYS, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)

Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait......



SPIRITS SUCH AS JACKS, BEAM & BUNDY

Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard

Approach: Keep buying them drinks, theyll think youre a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work

out how to get you to bed! :roll:  ::

You wouldn't find me posting such casual sexism......... ::

[papasmurf]

Good point, you want to kneecap him with one of your many swiss army tools .

No I don't. (I don't own any Swiss army tools.)

[Borg Refinery]

That is not what I want to do to IDS, which is why I never go closer that sixty miles to his rent free mansion. Even then I make sure I have an alibi.

Good point, you want to kneecap him with one of your many swiss army tools . You could just wait for the rabid randy pissheads to get pissed at the Quaffing Falcon or whatever their local's called (your long argument about the boozer closest to chequers on ukd was funny as fek btw) and the rest is history as they try to stagger home..



Glad to aid and abett a potential future GBH.

[Thomas]

A recent Glaswegian pollster interviewed fifty barmen in and around glasgow and they were asked if they could identify a customers

personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK THESE DRINKS IN A PUB ... (NOT AT HOME)

BEER

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.



COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA

Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.

Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.



MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / Whiskey and a wee drap o water ::

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants

Approach: If she wants you, shell send YOU a drink.



WATER

Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.

Approach: Dont.



WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.



BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.

Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and youre in.



SPIRITS SUCH AS CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT

Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!

Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually youre in!



CAPE VELVET

Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.

Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.



SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, COWBOYS, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)

Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait......



SPIRITS SUCH AS JACKS, BEAM & BUNDY

Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard

Approach: Keep buying them drinks, theyll think youre a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work

out how to get you to bed! :roll:  ::

[papasmurf]

Rabid dogs like paps who wants to shag/bite IDS's leg off will never understand that word - comedy.

That is not what I want to do to IDS, which is why I never go closer that sixty miles to his rent free mansion. Even then I make sure I have an alibi.

[Borg Refinery]

Another thread successfully ruined by papasmurf.  :clp



Incidentally, seeing as it's all gone to shite..I just read about 'Yer Granny' doing the rounds on stage, this Gargoyle woman pales in comparison to great actors like that bloke. Only good theatre plays are comedic ones imho.



Rabid dogs like paps who wants to shag/bite IDS's leg off will never understand that word - comedy.

[Thomas]

You know the sad thing is after half a dozen I probably would  ::  ::  ::



Ah, this thread is like the old days. All we need now is Gobfellow and Cromwell will have to take a paracetamol and go and have a lie down in a dark room  ::

 ::

[DeppityDawg]

::



Hey deppity  , the army has went tae feck since you left......







https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1/2018/10/06/21/4826154-6247957-image-m-6_1538858872211.jpg">



https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6247957/THREE-soldiers-Army-base-born-male-change-gender.html">https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... ender.html">https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6247957/THREE-soldiers-Army-base-born-male-change-gender.html



Katie from kent? ::

You know the sad thing is after half a dozen I probably would  ::  ::  ::



Ah, this thread is like the old days. All we need now is Gobfellow and Cromwell will have to take a paracetamol and go and have a lie down in a dark room  ::

[Borg Refinery]

::



Hey deppity  , the army has went tae feck since you left......







https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1/2018/10/06/21/4826154-6247957-image-m-6_1538858872211.jpg">



https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6247957/THREE-soldiers-Army-base-born-male-change-gender.html">https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... ender.html">https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6247957/THREE-soldiers-Army-base-born-male-change-gender.html



Katie from kent? ::

"She looks familiar..I saw her on a plane in...OH GOD NO!!"



She's a real english tommy.  ::  ..With a big undercarriage.

[Thomas]

Feck off Rob Roy. If you want to start a thread for seditious Jocks and other assorted malcontents, the "New thread" button is in the top left hand corner  ::

 ::



Hey deppity  , the army has went tae feck since you left......

Revealed: THREE soldiers from the same Army base who were born male change their gender after being given full backing from commanders



    Tom Marshall and Paul Jones were given full backing from commanders

    They are now named Katie Tom Rodriguez-Marshall and Catherine Jones

    All three are based at Paderborn in Germany and two serve in same regiment

    They have been given separate sleeping quarters at their barracks in Germany

    The third soldier has not been identified, but at least one is planning surgery

[/b]



https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1/2018/10/06/21/4826154-6247957-image-m-6_1538858872211.jpg">



https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6247957/THREE-soldiers-Army-base-born-male-change-gender.html">https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... ender.html">https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6247957/THREE-soldiers-Army-base-born-male-change-gender.html



Katie from kent? ::

[Borg Refinery]

Its this stupid phone. Me and technology only have a passing relationship.



They've asked me to do live TV interview on channel 4. I said "f*ck off, you won't get me on that pinko commie subversive channel.....erm...what's the fee?"

"You get a free Jon Snow tie ..and a pint of draught as ve know your veaknesses (muahaha)."

[DeppityDawg]

Hello.....zero. Send key settings....over.







You could always go on with jo brand. That would be a laugh deppity.



Deppity "your a big lassie pet".



Jo "tell me something i dont know!"



Deppity " salad tastes good!" ::  :roll:

Feck off Rob Roy. If you want to start a thread for seditious Jocks and other assorted malcontents, the "New thread" button is in the top left hand corner  ::

[Thomas]

Its this stupid phone. Me and technology only have a passing relationship.

Hello.....zero. Send key settings....over.

They've asked me to do live TV interview on channel 4. I said "f*ck off, you won't get me on that pinko commie subversive channel.....erm...what's the fee?"

You could always go on with jo brand. That would be a laugh deppity.



Deppity "your a big lassie pet".



Jo "tell me something i dont know!"



Deppity " salad tastes good!" ::  :roll: