Who Will Buy Mark's Kettles?

[Streetwalker]

He could always sell them in Bradford market , they can only get Chinese ones from there . You know join the 99.9% of British manufacturers that sell in the UK

[Sheepy]

Mark should go to Nissan, Baff thinks their looking for people. But Nissia have said a no deal and their off.

You see, getting parts shipped from Japan won't meet the "rules of origin" for the EU. SO Nissan keeps it's UK factories open, but only to meet the UK domestic market, because you see the factory can't sell into the EU anymore.
And why doesn't Nissan pull out all together, simple really, the UK govt are giving they over 70m in a brown envelope, but sush they don't want everyone knowing or all global companies in the UK will be look for their envelope....or maybe they have theirs all ready abd we just don't know yet, hummm.

You sure you and Cor ain't Russian, you are getting more agitated by democracy by the day.

[GerryT]

Mark should go to Nissan, Baff thinks their looking for people. But Nissia have said a no deal and their off.

You see, getting parts shipped from Japan won't meet the "rules of origin" for the EU. SO Nissan keeps it's UK factories open, but only to meet the UK domestic market, because you see the factory can't sell into the EU anymore.
And why doesn't Nissan pull out all together, simple really, the UK govt are giving they over 70m in a brown envelope, but sush they don't want everyone knowing or all global companies in the UK will be look for their envelope....or maybe they have theirs all ready abd we just don't know yet, hummm.

[Cor Blimey!]

What an imaginative story.

Is it your own?

No, it was written by Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson.

[Baff]

What an imaginative story.

Is it your own?

[Cor Blimey!]

Mark is a kettle-manufacturer in Bradford. He has been in business for 20 years, successfully selling his product in the EU.

No-deal Brexit happens and tariffs are applied to Mark's kettles. Mark's sales in the EU drop almost to vanishing point, as he cannot compete with other kettle-manufacturers within the EU who do not face tariffs.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell on another market'.

Mark tries to sell in the US. However, the UK has broken an international treaty and the US refuses to do a deal with them. Tarriffs are applied to Mark's kettles and Mark finds he cannot compete with domestic US manufacturers.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell in Canada'. Mark's attempts to sell in Canada are unsuccessful: he has to transport his kettles from the UK to Canada. Consequently, he is  forced to add  transport costs to  the price of his kettles. This makes it very difficult to compete with Canadian domestic producers who can sell cheaper because they do not have the same transport costs.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell in Australia'. Then it occurs to Mark that any problems with transport costs he had in Canada will be doubled in Australia because it is twice as far away.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell in South America'. Mark's attempts to sell in South America are unsuccessful: South America is made up of mainly second and third world countries – one of Mark's kettles costs more than the average person makes in a week; and besides, labour is so cheap there, that the South Americans can produce their own kettles at a fraction of Mark's costs.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell in Africa.' Mark's attempts to sell in Africa are unsuccessful: Mark's kettles cost more than the average person makes in 3 weeks.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will sell in South East Asia.' Marks attempts to sell in South East Asia are unsuccessful: Mark's kettles cost more than the average person makes in 6 weeks.'

Mark finally resigns himself to the fact that his business is screwed and he shuts down his factory. While he is standing in the dole queue in Bradford, a not very bright looking man approaches him. 'Hello, my name is Nick', the not-very-bright- looking man tells him, 'and I have a question for you: what does the EU have that we can't get somewhere else in the world?' Mark turns red with rage: '450 MILLION CUSTOMERS WHO CAN AFFORD TO BUY THE THINGS WE MAKE IN THIS COUNTRY', he screams. The End.

PS: send more banks.