Who Will Buy Mark's Kettles?

[Streetwalker]

Mark can't compete price wise with the Chinese imports. Looks like the UK people want cheap products, not as good as Marks, won't last as long, but that's the way it is.

Far from it ,we want good quality British goods . If  Mark existed he would be on a winner

[Cor Blimey!]

Good try, but that doesn't work with me. Nor do insults.

Enjoy your diminished status, Toots. You did it to yourselves.

[T00ts]

Don't you mean you're not capable of replying?

Good try, but that doesn't work with me. Nor do insults.

[Cor Blimey!]

What a pathetic comeback. I thought you were some kind of student. Perhaps not. It's not even worthy of reply.

Don't you mean you're not capable of replying?

[T00ts]

What on earth are you talking about? Britain a force to be reckoned with? You've got to be kidding! Numerical superiority is the only advantage you have ever had over Ireland and Scotland. Just look at the Book of Kells! Consider what might have been had Ireland and Scotland not had the sour misfortune of you as our neighbour. Scotland is about to take her independence (yes, she has no intention of asking bankrupt little England's permission). You're about to witness a Celtic renaissance, Toots. What would have happened 800 years ago were it not for you.

What a pathetic comeback. I thought you were some kind of student. Perhaps not. It's not even worthy of reply.

[Cor Blimey!]

I'd like to say he's a ray of sunshine, but he's actually a Rei of nothing but despair.

Send more banks, Barry.

[Barry]

That proves just how little you know or understand. It also reveals your inadequacy in that you attack me, and reveals once again your desperation. Yes I do have both ability and qualifications so what. Did I hit too close to home? Only saying  what I saw.

I'd like to say he's a ray of sunshine, but he's actually a Rei of nothing but despair.

[Cor Blimey!]

That proves just how little you know or understand. It also reveals your inadequacy in that you attack me, and reveals once again your desperation. Yes I do have both ability and qualifications so what. Did I hit too close to home? Only saying  what I saw.

What on earth are you talking about? Britain a force to be reckoned with? You've got to be kidding! Numerical superiority is the only advantage you have ever had over Ireland and Scotland. Just look at the Book of Kells! Consider what might have been had Ireland and Scotland not had the sour misfortune of you as our neighbour. Scotland is about to take her independence (yes, she has no intention of asking bankrupt little England's permission). You're about to witness a Celtic renaissance, Toots. What would have happened 800 years ago were it not for you.

[Sheepy]

It is a bit student isn't it? Mark doesn't have any kettles because Mark doesn't exist, it is just another made up scenario from a weak mind. Without much intelligence.

[T00ts]

You're an expert in body language? What are your qualifications? Do you have a masters in the subject? a P.hd? Toots? That suggests Tutu. Ballet. Stick to what you know.

That proves just how little you know or understand. It also reveals your inadequacy in that you attack me, and reveals once again your desperation. Yes I do have both ability and qualifications so what. Did I hit too close to home? Only saying  what I saw.

[Cor Blimey!]

I read your posts with growing concern. You are sounding more and more desperate that UK Inc should fail. My question is why? Is it perhaps that Ireland is terrified?  Perhaps so.

There are good reasons that they should be. It must be becoming clearer that the EU commission doesn't do favous,  they don't care. Varadkar's body language and very expressive eyes showed his fear every time I saw him with Barnier, Merkel and Macron. They will look after themselves first and he knew it. He thought he had it all sewn up in the WA . I feel almost sorry for you and S Ireland but they do have a choice just as we did. If the UK doesn't matter in the big scheme of things why spend so much time telling us how inadequate we are? Unless of course you realise under all the drivel that actually we are a force to reckon with?

You're an expert in body language? What are your qualifications? Do you have a masters in the subject? a P.hd? Toots? That suggests Tutu. Ballet. Stick to what you know.

[T00ts]

Mark is a kettle-manufacturer in Bradford. He has been in business for 20 years, successfully selling his product in the EU.

No-deal Brexit happens and tariffs are applied to Mark's kettles. Mark's sales in the EU drop almost to vanishing point, as he cannot compete with other kettle-manufacturers within the EU who do not face tariffs.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell on another market'.

Mark tries to sell in the US. However, the UK has broken an international treaty and the US refuses to do a deal with them. Tarriffs are applied to Mark's kettles and Mark finds he cannot compete with domestic US manufacturers.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell in Canada'. Mark's attempts to sell in Canada are unsuccessful: he has to transport his kettles from the UK to Canada. Consequently, he is  forced to add  transport costs to  the price of his kettles. This makes it very difficult to compete with Canadian domestic producers who can sell cheaper because they do not have the same transport costs.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell in Australia'. Then it occurs to Mark that any problems with transport costs he had in Canada will be doubled in Australia because it is twice as far away.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell in South America'. Mark's attempts to sell in South America are unsuccessful: South America is made up of mainly second and third world countries – one of Mark's kettles costs more than the average person makes in a week; and besides, labour is so cheap there, that the South Americans can produce their own kettles at a fraction of Mark's costs.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will simply sell in Africa.' Mark's attempts to sell in Africa are unsuccessful: Mark's kettles cost more than the average person makes in 3 weeks.

'Not to worry', Mark tells himself, 'I am part of the new global Britain, I will sell in South East Asia.' Marks attempts to sell in South East Asia are unsuccessful: Mark's kettles cost more than the average person makes in 6 weeks.'

Mark finally resigns himself to the fact that his business is screwed and he shuts down his factory. While he is standing in the dole queue in Bradford, a not very bright looking man approaches him. 'Hello, my name is Nick', the not-very-bright- looking man tells him, 'and I have a question for you: what does the EU have that we can't get somewhere else in the world?' Mark turns red with rage: '450 MILLION CUSTOMERS WHO CAN AFFORD TO BUY THE THINGS WE MAKE IN THIS COUNTRY', he screams. The End.

PS: send more banks.

I read your posts with growing concern. You are sounding more and more desperate that UK Inc should fail. My question is why? Is it perhaps that Ireland is terrified?  Perhaps so.

There are good reasons that they should be. It must be becoming clearer that the EU commission doesn't do favous,  they don't care. Varadkar's body language and very expressive eyes showed his fear every time I saw him with Barnier, Merkel and Macron. They will look after themselves first and he knew it. He thought he had it all sewn up in the WA . I feel almost sorry for you and S Ireland but they do have a choice just as we did. If the UK doesn't matter in the big scheme of things why spend so much time telling us how inadequate we are? Unless of course you realise under all the drivel that actually we are a force to reckon with?

[Cor Blimey!]

Mark can't compete price wise with the Chinese imports. Looks like the UK people want cheap products, not as good as Marks, won't last as long, but that's the way it is.

Exactly, Gerry. Streetwalker's suggestion still leaves Mark on the dole queue.

[GerryT]

He could always sell them in Bradford market , they can only get Chinese ones from there . You know join the 99.9% of British manufacturers that sell in the UK

Mark can't compete price wise with the Chinese imports. Looks like the UK people want cheap products, not as good as Marks, won't last as long, but that's the way it is.

[Cor Blimey!]

He could always sell them in Bradford market , they can only get Chinese ones from there . You know join the 99.9% of British manufacturers that sell in the UK

Like it, StreetWalker! A joke response is an appropriate metaphor for Global Britain.