golfing

[Barry]

An American golfer arrived in Ireland and wanted to play golf. He was directed to the local course and asked for a playing partner.
He must be good said the yank.
You need Patrick O Leary came the reply. Patrick was called and he agreed to play. I'll be there at 9am he said -but I might be 30 minutes late.

Patrick duly arrived at 9am, the yank noticed he played left handed. The yank played well but Patrick easily beat him.

How about another round tomorrow asked the yank
OK said Patrick, 9am, but I might be 30 minutes late.

Patrick arrived again at 9am. This time he played right handed. The yank thought I'll beat him easily today-but he was soundly beaten again.

The yank said to Patrick, look mate can we play again tomorrow?
Patrick said, Yes of course I'll be here at 9am but I might be 30 minutes late!

Hang on said the yank
you turn up here on time, you play left handed or right handed
how do you decide and how come you're not late when you say you might be.

Patrick replied:
when I get up in the morning if the wife is lying on her left side I play left handed, and if she lies on the right I play right handed.

But what happens if she's lying on her back? asked the yank

Then I'll be 30 minutes late came the reply.
(But we think Patrick was probably boasting)