Forum pantomime

[Sheepy]

Have no fear.......your Fairy Godmother is here 

I grant you all what you deserve...........

hello gorgeous, you still doing the fairy magic in your spare time then?

[DeppityDawg]

Have no fear.......your Fairy Godmother is here 

I grant you all what you deserve...........

Bout time too. The place hasn't been hoovered for months 

Good to see you back, doll. 

[Thomas]

Have no fear.......your Fairy Godmother is here 

I grant you all what you deserve...........

welcome back crabbit.

hope you and yer family are well , and merry xmas.

[Thomas]

It is on this forum.

please stop trolling the thread.

Join in the fun , enjoy the christmas mood , or take your hand away from the keyboard and keep schtum.

[papasmurf]

Sometimes, life is stranger than panto

It is on this forum.

[johnofgwent]

Perhaps the tale has already been told, but....


My two daughters are in Brownies and Guides. Moira is a little owl or whatever. And so tickets to the Newport Pantomime Society have been bought. Dick Whittington.


It is the opening couple of acts. Dick has come onstage and introduced himself, and the little dancers (how wierd it is to think we're this pox not in evidence, Melissa with her ballet AND Musical theatre training WOULD be one of the girls CentreStage loan to the Panto Society for the crowd scenes ... Anyway....


So the dancers come on stage to do a routine that gives the prime characters two or three minutes to get positioned for launch ...


But as the last group of dancers enters the stage, one kicks the magnesium flash box for king Rat a little TOO near the scenery ...


Exit dancers. Fade to green. Enter King Rat. BOOM Whoosh. 


Ah.ha.ha.ha.ha etc etc


King Rat does his bit. And leaves.


Lights up and on with the panto dame.


Now after about a minute of his act, I notice the scenery is smouldering. I am getting increasingly uncomfortable and the panto dame spots this...


Coming over thinking I'm some sort of plant he engages thus


"Is there something I can do for you, YOUNG man...."


"Yes. Put the fire out"


"The FIRE ? (Looks to stage scenery prop hearth...."


Thinks:"I'm gonna bloody kill the director and his pranks"
Says - To Me "What fire ? There is no fire here ?"


Me: Thinks aw F@@@: SAYS "oh yes there is"


There now follows the customary classic panto gunfight.


But it gets worse


"So Where IS this fire you want put out" says the guy, standing right by the front of stage footlights...


Me: "Well ACTUALLY .... ITS BEHIND YOU"


And so on until the guy senses the smell of burning stage paint over the smell of the arc lights, at which point a last "oh no there isn't" becomes, half way through, 'OH HELL THERE IS !!! JACK!! MAN THE PUMPS !!!"


'Jack' is the theatre floor manager. He saw this fire about 30 seconds after I did. I was unaware but he was actually standing with the biggest fire extinguisher in the theatre, but was scrambling madly for a way to sort this. The even faster thinking musical director raced to the prop room and fetched a trumpton fireman's hat and jacket. Jack threw this on and on cue from the panto dame rushed up and did his Captain Flack bit....


All bizarrely integrated into the show.


Sometimes, life is stranger than panto


Cuec"oh no it isn't"...

[Bright Young Thing]

Have no fear.......your Fairy Godmother is here 

I grant you all what you deserve...........

[Sheepy]

Boooooooooooooooooooo

[DeppityDawg]

There was panic at the paranoid schizophrenic christmas panto when someone shouted "hes behind you!"

[T00ts]

He's behind you!

Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!! Oh no he isn't!

[Thomas]

He's behind you!

that reminds me of the old joke barry


There was panic at the paranoid schizophrenic christmas panto when someone shouted "hes behind you!"

[Barry]

He's behind you!

[T00ts]

I see LX have started setting the overheads. Any spots planned? Oooh yes it's improving all the time now all we need is costumes and makeup and it's tabs!  @Nick - nice job nutcracker!! I like it!

[Sampanviking]

Right so if I have to be widow twankey the Chinese laundry woman sampan will have to be wishy washy my assistant

Ohh you shur-rup old Gweilo! an you pay soo loow - you no good,  I bettee off lurking on laylay

[johnofgwent]

Nutcracker?? You'll have to explain that one 😂

I'm sure they mean it in the sense of the athletic nutcracker doll .....