In praise of customer services.

[Baron von Lotsov]

Our political hue over the years has gone from ultra-safe Tory seat (like Tory for as long as anyone can remember) to Tory/Lib Dem marginal with no Labour, to where we are at the moment, which is  most prominent our town where on the local council it is a toss-up between Lib Dem and Green + some spaced out independents of the modern voodoo party & Co.



I'm worried that my town represents the country's future, like the ghost of Christmas yet to come. You see Kemal likes it here. He has been seen on several occasions by locals playing the fool in his time off. You know, stranger things have happened with Tories than that, so it is a credible theory.

[papasmurf]

Unfortunately here in the West Country they are super-dim.

Judging by the Parish council here I can't argue with that assessment.

[Baron von Lotsov]

Being the offspring of a genius  is no  guarantee of being a genius. The opposite applies as well a genius can have parents who are as thick as bricks.

I know one such couple who frankly are not safe out on their own. There son however was being offered university places from the age of seven.

Perhaps the husband got confused about who's baby it was.



Besides, one example of the opposite does not disprove a trend, and I can assure you the average offspring of professors of rocket science are smart. As for me, I'm genetically Scottish, hence I was born an engineer.



Unfortunately here in the West Country they are super-dim. Mind you, i will point out that Screwfix itself was established locally, since it came from Yeovil before being sold to Kingfisher for a fair amount of cash. Clearly the people who set it up were smart, and it does manage to sell at much cheaper prices than B & Q, but the fear is it will be another B & Q type operation before too long. One thing that annoys me about British-run shops is they still can't do stock control. If your shopping list has ten items on it you want all ten. If you can only get 8 then the wild goose chase continues, and as they remind us, time is money.

[patman post]

B & Q owns Screwfix.



Actually what you said is completely wrong in practice because the customer in front normally takes ten minutes. That's one minute to ask what he wants and ten minutes of general chit-chat crap. I find that totally out of order when they can see there are customers behind, but that's British industry for you. Loads of cockups and idle chatter but no help when it is your turn. All the blonde needed to do considering she was blonde was to type M6 screw in the search, but they know nothing of what they sell. They are all qualified you see. That's why they spent so long at school. Mind you Travis Perkins is worse. I told you people about "customer must bring own saw to buy a piece of wood in case child staff cut themselves and die" rule.

As far as I know Screwfix and B&Q are UK Kingfisher companies.

Travis Perkins owns Toolstation and Wickes, among others...

[papasmurf]

Oh well you must live in an area of daughters of professors of rocket science then,

Being the offspring of a genius  is no  guarantee of being a genius. The opposite applies as well a genius can have parents who are as thick as bricks.

I know one such couple who frankly are not safe out on their own. There son however was being offered university places from the age of seven.

[Baron von Lotsov]

My experience of Screwfix and Travis Perkins is the young ladies not long out of school behind the counter have an encyclopaedic knowledge of everything on the inventory including the specifications and use.

Also at the mega fork handles/ four candles emporium that is MacSalvors, (everything from a pin to a supertankers propeller one of the Ladies there knows where everything on the inventory is. (Which given the acreage of the yard is miraculous.)

Oh well you must live in an area of daughters of professors of rocket science then, but it just isn't that way around here, at least as far as Screwfix encounters are concerned. The blokes are just as ignorant though. What i get in general is these newbies to the world of work, fresh out of state education, have a total inability to process concepts. This is the higher level abstract reasoning. I tried to get a simple point across to one regarding efficiency, since they had a sign outside claiming time is money. My issue was regarding my time (money) which was being used to fill out an entire page of questions on a computer before purchasing two simple items. Did he see a contradiction between what the sign says outside and his task to waste my time? No he didn't, but could not explain why. You see, as soon as you slightly flex their powers of reasoning the lightbulb goes out. The brightness is not seen. They clam up, like a Window's computer would produce a blue screen.

[papasmurf]

No I could not manage it at the time because I was not at my computer. I do however get very annoyed when we get people who get jobs in Screwfix and don't know what a bloody screw is. I ask, what good has school been to these people?

My experience of Screwfix and Travis Perkins is the young ladies not long out of school behind the counter have an encyclopaedic knowledge of everything on the inventory including the specifications and use.

Also at the mega fork handles/ four candles emporium that is MacSalvors, (everything from a pin to a supertankers propeller one of the Ladies there knows where everything on the inventory is. (Which given the acreage of the yard is miraculous.)

[Baron von Lotsov]

Well they were taught they were all winners never lose anything even if they come last and would all go to uni and be geniuses.....basically they were screwed  :-P

I think it is like Mao's little red book. They know it word for word, but it does not cover anything in the real world.

[Barry]

Come on Baron. All Screwfix shops have catalogues and searchable screens in store to locate items. You needed item 15472 and her job is to find a package with 15472 on it and hand it over against your hard earned readies.

[cromwell]

No I could not manage it at the time because I was not at my computer. I do however get very annoyed when we get people who get jobs in Screwfix and don't know what a bloody screw is. I ask, what good has school been to these people?

Well they were taught they were all winners never lose anything even if they come last and would all go to uni and be geniuses.....basically they were screwed  :-P

[Baron von Lotsov]

Wickes won't cut any wood either.



Screwfix is a place where you have to identify your own requirements and then order it from the catalogue or online. I have no problem with it, they are pretty efficient and only a mile away.  If you can't manage that, perhaps you are the blonde, Baron.  :dmq:

No I could not manage it at the time because I was not at my computer. I do however get very annoyed when we get people who get jobs in Screwfix and don't know what a bloody screw is. I ask, what good has school been to these people?

[Barry]

Wickes won't cut any wood either.



Screwfix is a place where you have to identify your own requirements and then order it from the catalogue or online. I have no problem with it, they are pretty efficient and only a mile away.  If you can't manage that, perhaps you are the blonde, Baron.  :dmq:

[Baron von Lotsov]

Frankly that's your inability to understand the concept. Screwfix and Toolstation and others work on supplying customers actually doing their part by identifying exactly what they want. If you want to browse and wander (and pay more for the privilege) go to associated activities like B&Q, Homebase, Travis Perkins, Wickes, etc...

B & Q owns Screwfix.



Actually what you said is completely wrong in practice because the customer in front normally takes ten minutes. That's one minute to ask what he wants and ten minutes of general chit-chat crap. I find that totally out of order when they can see there are customers behind, but that's British industry for you. Loads of cockups and idle chatter but no help when it is your turn. All the blonde needed to do considering she was blonde was to type M6 screw in the search, but they know nothing of what they sell. They are all qualified you see. That's why they spent so long at school. Mind you Travis Perkins is worse. I told you people about "customer must bring own saw to buy a piece of wood in case child staff cut themselves and die" rule.

[Baron von Lotsov]

Yes they do ask however you just say no I don't want to give my personal details and as long as you keep your receipt in case of any claim you're fine,I was once in a queue at Currys waiting to pay,the bloke at the front was asked for his name and address,no says he,oh well says assistant without giving them you have no warranty......really replies bloke I work for trading standards and I think you'll find a receipt suffices.



Red faced assistant and smiles all round in the queue.

Excellent story.

[cromwell]

I do it all electronically, because I use Ebay. It's much easier and cheaper that way. My experience is British firms screw up more than the others. I find Screwfix a weird firm. You go and buy something and they want all your information and from you to open an account. Once when i had not got the order number and simply asked the blonde for some M6 screws about so many mm long she didn't have a clue. How ironic that they work for Screwfix and do not know what a bloody screw is.

Yes they do ask however you just say no I don't want to give my personal details and as long as you keep your receipt in case of any claim you're fine,I was once in a queue at Currys waiting to pay,the bloke at the front was asked for his name and address,no says he,oh well says assistant without giving them you have no warranty......really replies bloke I work for trading standards and I think you'll find a receipt suffices.



Red faced assistant and smiles all round in the queue.