Is it OK for parents to smack their children...

[Nalaar]

I wonder if asking a child having a full blown tantrum, throwing wooden blocks at the TV, "what is the problem" would result in the problem going away.
It's worth a try, I'll ask my 4 year old grandson next time he is acting out and pushing his sister over and using violence on her.

Some things work in theory, but not so much in practice.

Many children are raised without their parents hitting them, other parents have decided that they must hit them.
The existence of parents who have not had to hit their children would well imply that parents don't need to hit their children, though some will chose to do so anyway.

Parents who do not hit their children will almost certainly experience them having tantrums, this does not force them to hit their child.

It's not theory, it's reality in many hosueholds.

[Barry]

I did?

You go to the source of the problem - Why is the child 'acting out', without need or desire to hit them.

I wonder if asking a child having a full blown tantrum, throwing wooden blocks at the TV, "what is the problem" would result in the problem going away.
It's worth a try, I'll ask my 4 year old grandson next time he is acting out and pushing his sister over and using violence on her.

Some things work in theory, but not so much in practice.

[Nalaar]

You didn't answer the question.

I did?

You go to the source of the problem - Why is the child 'acting out', without need or desire to hit them.

[Barry]

Presumably you believe there are acts of violence towards children by parents that are 'too far'.
Those same parents may put it to you that their 'ultimate deterrence' is what's needed.
You would presumably disagree with them that their 'ultimate deterrent' is needed, just as I would disagree with you than an 'ultimate deterrent' of hitting a child is needed.

In any case - problems should be approached at source, not by deterrence or after-the-fact violence.

You didn't answer the question.

[Nalaar]

What would be your ultimate deterrent when a child is repeatedly and wilfully defiant, and not complying with requests to desist bad behaviour?

Presumably you believe there are acts of violence towards children by parents that are 'too far'.
Those same parents may put it to you that their 'ultimate deterrence' is what's needed.
You would presumably disagree with them that their 'ultimate deterrent' is needed, just as I would disagree with you than an 'ultimate deterrent' of hitting a child is needed.

In any case - problems should be approached at source, not by deterrence or after-the-fact violence.

[papasmurf]

What would be your ultimate deterrent when a child is repeatedly and wilfully defiant, and not complying with requests to desist bad behaviour?

A bit of lead put in one of their ears?

[Barry]

I'm not convinced that policy change is necessary, however -

An adult should not be willing to hit a child.
Children learning that their parent will hit them seems antithetical to a good relationship.

What would be your ultimate deterrent when a child is repeatedly and wilfully defiant, and not complying with requests to desist bad behaviour?

------------------------------------------

I raised this as it seems to be in the news again, I think Wales are considering a total ban.
Hopefully, there will also be a ban on children assaulting their parents.

I was considering the other day how my three children are bringing up their five children, who range in age from 2 to 9.
I don't fully agree with how any of them are doing it. Then I considered how I bought up my three children and I didn't agree with that either!

All my children started out with a no smacking policy with their children. Two have kept to it. The other decided a short sharp smack on the bottom was better than telling him to stand out in the garden, or go to his room.

I agree with SW that it hurts the parent to smack the child.
I fear that society will be the poorer if we prosecute parents for disciplining their children. Smacking a naughty child is not child abuse. It is lawful correction and those that don't understand the difference are the problem.

[papasmurf]

An adult should not be willing to hit a child.

Self-defence and for the safety of others.

[Nalaar]

I'm not convinced that policy change is necessary, however -

An adult should not be willing to hit a child.
Children learning that their parent will hit them seems antithetical to a good relationship.

[T00ts]

I was smacked when I didn't behave and it didn't hurt me!
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
Hitting children only teaches them to hit.
Abuse is abuse is abuse!

All these arguments go backwards and forwards every time this subject is raised. Jokingly - if a naughty child cannot be brought up sharply with a swift slap then presumably it's ok to just lock them in a cupboard until they calm down.

Discipline is such a dirty word whether it's applied to a misbehaving child or a rampaging adult. Parents will find alternatives to smacking or will simply despair.
Every child is different and in an ideal world we should never hit anyone, but no-one is perfect, if legislation were brought in, imagine the scenario when child says to angry parent 'you can't hit me I'll call the cops!' There will be some who will react badly. Will it make the child's outcome better?

Most parents don't smack, others have a short fuse and few words or understanding - will legislation change that? Since when did laws change the minority?

[johnofgwent]

Well from experience the only reason to ban it is to save parents from the upset . The first time I had to give my eldest a smack on the arse I recall going into a self cross examination with a guilty verdict fast approaching .

While we (parents) carry the guilt of our actions for hours the kids seem to shake it off in minutes ,register their wrongdoing and carry on with their day .
But thats what we take on when we become parents

Labour will do anything to attract the child vote.

[Streetwalker]

... when they are naughty.

Or should it be banned and offending parents prosecuted?

Well from experience the only reason to ban it is to save parents from the upset . The first time I had to give my eldest a smack on the arse I recall going into a self cross examination with a guilty verdict fast approaching .

While we (parents) carry the guilt of our actions for hours the kids seem to shake it off in minutes ,register their wrongdoing and carry on with their day .
But thats what we take on when we become parents

[Sampanviking]

Yes it is ok to smack
Parents that refuse to do so or otherwise fail to teach their kids how to behave should be prosecuted.

[cromwell]

A smack ok,beating obviously not.

[Barry]

... when they are naughty.

Or should it be banned and offending parents prosecuted?