Slow clap for the NHS

[Borchester]

Perhaps there's thought to be some connection between Long Covid an d Slow Clap...

Poor sods. Months of pissing hedgehogs backwards 

[patman post]

Exactly. It's surely not that long ago that the doc would want a blood test and do it there and then. Now I have to make another appointment to see the visiting phlebotomist a couple of weeks later. Do doctors no longer have the skill? Is it beneath them? Or is it simply another layer of 'expertise' that demands more funding? Are we simply being duped into believing that the NHS being so big, important and expensive must therefore be fabulously successful? Even now the emphasis for the winter is on the NHS getting overwhelmed not on how sick people might be. I despair.

Perhaps there's thought to be some connection between Long Covid an d Slow Clap...

[johnofgwent]

What are you blathering on about? It is a f**king blood test, not open heart surgery. No wonder the NHS costs so much when they have to pander to head up their arse hysterics like you.

I know what he is blathering about


Back in 79 I got my 1876 act licence and started experimenting on living animals.


About eight months later some twonk in health physics services screamed "F**K !! You haven't had a white cell base count. We need that to check you for blood cancers"


An aside: EVERYONE on that team has since died of some variety of cancer. This is no idle need.


I strolled down to the university medical centre and held my hand out for Doctor Bodger (yes, that was his name) to do the honours.


.... Oh f**k ...


.... Whats up?


.... Can't get any from there. I'll have to try again...


.... Oh f**k ....


.... Oh f**k. Look, let's try the other arm.


.... Oh f**k


.... Oh f**k


.... Oh f**k


.,.............


"Would you mind if I used your phone"


riiiiiiiing. RIIIIIIIIIIIng


"Hi, Geoff ?"


"Yes John, what's up"


"Need your help with your key skill mate. Can you me at the med centre in five...."


"Sure".


Five minutes later, the chief animal technician from the University Medical School and Life Science Faculty shows up in the reception area. I show him my arms with the six hugely bruised puncture wounds.


"Expletive Deleted indulging in some pedal cycling: who the f**k. Aw f**k no, you didn't have to let Bodger bleed you"


Yup, and he failed six times. Teach him a lesson please


"With those veins wrecked it'll have to come out of the top.of your hand......"


I know. That's why I called you.


Ten effortless seconds later "Nurse, it was just five ml you wanted....."


"Right John. Stick cotton wool and a plaster HARD on that. Then come see me in my office and I'll see what I can do about this other butchery...."


Behind me, twenty five medics, dentists and microbiologists stood in line. The first gave Geoff a pleading look.


It took him less than five minutes to do the lot. Three nurses lined up the students and all the kit. Geoff got them all to sign saying they had no problem being stuck by a bloke with no medical training beyond that of an industrial first aider. It took him less time to do the extraction than they took to sign the consent beforehand.

Why the difference ? Every day Geoff stuck a needle in an animal whose veins were a tenth the width of a human, and drew blood. Just like I canulated and tracheotomised rats. Your airway is the size of a hosepipe. So is your aorta. A rat has a windpipe about the thickness of a BIC biro inner and the aorta is about the same as that too.

The GP who treated me for about twenty five years before his retirement about five years ago was fifteenth in that line behind me. He chose to have the animal House technician bleed him too.


Let's just say Rob and I had an understanding....


Oh yeah. Every practice nurse and the two phlebotomists on my group practice medical centre know the above. So do ALL the doctors. And Robert has verified it as the absolute god's honest truth. Last month one of the phlebotomists had four goes (two in each arm) at drawing blood and failed.


We agreed to try again the following week.......

[papasmurf]

What are you blathering on about? It is a f**king blood test, not open heart surgery. No wonder the NHS costs so much when they have to pander to head up their arse hysterics like you.

I have not had a GP take a blood test for decades. All blood tests at the local medical centre are carried out before 11.00 hours so they can be collected and taken for analysis to the blood analysis facility 25 miles away. A lot of the results are then available online to patients, that evening.
It would be an inefficient and impractical use of a doctors time to take the blood.

[Borchester]

I would not a let a doctor near me to carry out a blood test, the nurses and phlebotomist have far more practice.

What are you blathering on about? It is a fucking blood test, not open heart surgery. No wonder the NHS costs so much when they have to pander to head up their arse hysterics like you.

[papasmurf]

Exactly. It's surely not that long ago that the doc would want a blood test and do it there and then. Now I have to make another appointment to see the visiting phlebotomist a couple of weeks later. Do doctors no longer have the skill?

I would not a let a doctor near me to carry out a blood test, the nurses and phlebotomist have far more practice.

[T00ts]

My doctor keeps sending me to the hospital for blood tests. It is like a night out at Dracula's Castle albeit without Ingrid Pitt.

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2010/11/25/arts/PITT-obit/PITT-obit-jumbo.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale

Exactly. It's surely not that long ago that the doc would want a blood test and do it there and then. Now I have to make another appointment to see the visiting phlebotomist a couple of weeks later. Do doctors no longer have the skill? Is it beneath them? Or is it simply another layer of 'expertise' that demands more funding? Are we simply being duped into believing that the NHS being so big, important and expensive must therefore be fabulously successful? Even now the emphasis for the winter is on the NHS getting overwhelmed not on how sick people might be. I despair.

[Borchester]

It does seem that GPs are content to shoot themselves in the foot. Or do they know something that we don't? I am not a great one for conspiracy theories and do believe that the scientists were convinced in their aims and in their vaccines, but they have proved just not effective enough. Yes they appear to have reduced severity but not infections. They need to do some extra homework perhaps.  Do GPs see a another wave on the not too distant horizon and therefore are pre-empting it by continuing their Covid rules or are they just happy with their £100 (I believe it is) per hour to make phone calls.

Yesterday the local hospital rang me to ask if I still wanted an appointment for a treatment first called for almost 2 years ago. I thought it was a bit unnecessary after all this time and said so. 'Shall I take you off the list then' she asked. I suspect many are receiving similar calls. It seems that GPs are now reduced to being an interface between their surgery and the hospitals. A bit of a non job if that is the case. I can remember after my first child descending on my doctor in agony. 'Ah' he said 'if I send you to the hospital it will be...' he gave a cutting action with his hand, 'I can deal with that I think'. He did thank goodness - no scalpels involved. I do wonder if today's doctors would even bother. Obviously I for one have lost faith in the NHS.

My doctor keeps sending me to the hospital for blood tests. It is like a night out at Dracula's Castle albeit without Ingrid Pitt.

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2010/11/25/arts/PITT-obit/PITT-obit-jumbo.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale

This flu thingy has caused a lot of problems. A while back everyone and his dog was out on the streets clapping like seals at Billy Smart's Circus on behalf of the NHS. The result has been decent, largely competent mechanics have ended up with the idea that they are some sort of Gods. Nice enough folk, but I can't help but feel that a good kick up the arse would do some of them the world of good.

[T00ts]

It does seem that GPs are content to shoot themselves in the foot. Or do they know something that we don't? I am not a great one for conspiracy theories and do believe that the scientists were convinced in their aims and in their vaccines, but they have proved just not effective enough. Yes they appear to have reduced severity but not infections. They need to do some extra homework perhaps.  Do GPs see a another wave on the not too distant horizon and therefore are pre-empting it by continuing their Covid rules or are they just happy with their £100 (I believe it is) per hour to make phone calls.

Yesterday the local hospital rang me to ask if I still wanted an appointment for a treatment first called for almost 2 years ago. I thought it was a bit unnecessary after all this time and said so. 'Shall I take you off the list then' she asked. I suspect many are receiving similar calls. It seems that GPs are now reduced to being an interface between their surgery and the hospitals. A bit of a non job if that is the case. I can remember after my first child descending on my doctor in agony. 'Ah' he said 'if I send you to the hospital it will be...' he gave a cutting action with his hand, 'I can deal with that I think'. He did thank goodness - no scalpels involved. I do wonder if today's doctors would even bother. Obviously I for one have lost faith in the NHS.

[papasmurf]

Doctors need to get back to seeing their patients properly.

No problem with seeing a doctor where I live, the only problem is the shortage of blood testing vials has delayed my next set of blood tests until January.

[Barry]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9990011/Mother-cancer-victim-says-daughter-alive-not-delays-getting-person-appointment.html

Tragic.
Looks like medical negligence. Doctors need to get back to seeing their patients properly.