I feel like death

[Streetwalker]

No, he said, I did not. I just assumed that you did and signed whatever you put in front of me

Thats the sort of competency Im relying on when I send in my tax return 

[Borchester]

I would suggest a drop of the hard stuff in the coffee

Get well soon Borky

Herself, God bless her, has started adding a drop of coffee to the hard stuff.

Blimey that was a surprise. But the worst is over. I am sitting in my office, coughing and sniffing and farting and being (according to Madam) not much more disgusting than usual.

Anyway, thanks everyone for your good wishes.

And here is a mildly funny story by way of thanks.

A mate from our days in HMRC has just rung me about his taxes, which he has managed to turn into a right pig's ea.

What is the problem I asked. You were my manager for two years and I passed cases like this over your desk all the time, so you must have understood what was going on.

No, he said, I did not. I just assumed that you did and signed whatever you put in front of me

[Streetwalker]

I would suggest taking a Covid test.

I would suggest a drop of the hard stuff in the coffee

Get well soon Borky 

[papasmurf]

I picked up some bug a couple of days ago and now I can't hear. I am blind in one eye, can't breath, my mouth feels as though the cat has crapped in it and, not to put too fine a point on it, I don't feel very well.

I would suggest taking a Covid test.

[Sampanviking]

I picked up some bug a couple of days ago and now I can't hear. I am blind in one eye, can't breath, my mouth feels as though the cat has crapped in it and, not to put too fine a point on it, I don't feel very well.

I am  going to take a cab to the allotment where I will start a bonfire, brew coffee, wrap up warm and feel sorry for myself, which cures all known ills.

Well look after yourself you infuriating curmudgeonly old bug ger.
What you said reminds of an old joke.

Two party girls regain consciousness the morning after.
Ugh, says one to her friend "My mouth feels like the bottom of a Parrots Cage"
"I'm not surprised" says her friend "I saw you had a Cockatoo in there last night"

Get well soon!

[cromwell]

I picked up some bug a couple of days ago and now I can't hear. I am blind in one eye, can't breath, my mouth feels as though the cat has crapped in it and, not to put too fine a point on it, I don't feel very well.

I am  going to take a cab to the allotment where I will start a bonfire, brew coffee, wrap up warm and feel sorry for myself, which cures all known ills.

Oh blimey Borky I thought you'd stopped bending my earole

Get well soon

[Borchester]

I picked up some bug a couple of days ago and now I can't hear. I am blind in one eye, can't breath, my mouth feels as though the cat has crapped in it and, not to put too fine a point on it, I don't feel very well.

I am  going to take a cab to the allotment where I will start a bonfire, brew coffee, wrap up warm and feel sorry for myself, which cures all known ills.