You have to laugh

[Thomas]

I looked at the thread title and wondered why it wasn't in the spiritual section. What's Jesus got to do with it, Borchester.  :thdwn:

Thou shalt not take the name ...  :rant:

Presbyterian minister meets a drunk outside a Govan bar. The drunk claims to be Jesus. The minister disagrees, the man insists.



 Finally the minister asks, "How kin  ye prove it?"



 The man says, "Come wae me." They go inside the bar. The barman says, "Jesus Christ, no you again."

[patman post]

Ermmm yes! ::

All the hairdressers are shut and the roots are returning to their natural colour,not only the hairdressers,tanning salons,nail bars,beauticians.......things will get ugly out there ::

My roots are difficult to diguise, and I only need a shaver. Guess I'll just have to get used to doing my own nails...

[Barry]

^^  :hattip  ::

[cromwell]

Am I a bit slow this morning? What does that mean?

Ermmm yes! ::

All the hairdressers are shut and the roots are returning to their natural colour,not only the hairdressers,tanning salons,nail bars,beauticians.......things will get ugly out there ::

[Barry]

If this continues 75% of the worlds blondes will disappear.

Am I a bit slow this morning? What does that mean?

[cromwell]

If this continues 75% of the worlds blondes will disappear.

[cromwell]

[size=150]Warning contains a lot of swearing[/size]





[size=150][/size]

[cromwell]

Apparently Diane Abbott has demanded the BBC stop filming casualty and holby city so the staff are free to tackle the corona virus outbreak.

[Barry]

Amongst all this doom and gloom there is some good news.

It is now apparent that of those that are dying 67% are Male and 33% Female - the other recognised 54 gender types don't seem to be affected.  ::

[cromwell]

If you get an email with the heading ding dong,don't open it



It's a jehovas witness working from home.

[Barry]

I'm in self isolation now and it's awful watching Mrs B just standing there, looking through the living room window all day with tears in her eyes  :cry:

I even thought about letting her in this evening.  ::

[cromwell]

So a bloke turns to his wife and says

 "remember that nurses outfit I bought some time ago,go and put it on"



A bit flushed she replies

"ooh are you feeling a bit fruity ?"



"No"says he"we've run out of bog rolls bread and milk"

[Barry]

Typical Spanish humour, would have been even more typical if he were wearing laydees clothes.  :roll:

[cromwell]

Can't speak Spanish,but then don't have to.

[cromwell]