I have the flu or something.

[Thomas]

Right. You need to take this in hand.



By the age of 15 my daughters could strip the engine, transmission and suspension from the car, and use most of the power tools in the garage.



My granddaughter is BARELY TEN yet before this madness she was out helping me dismantle the decking, erecting and riveting the new steel shed etc etc



My view being that if they want to pay the AA to come out and rescue them (as I do) then that should be one of multiple options available to them including rolling their sleeves up picking up a monkey wrench and swearing like a trooper when they break their manicured fingernails....



Seriously, if she wants her room done, then buy the paint and the dust sheets and bunny suit and stand back

 :thup: Got her started john .

[johnofgwent]

:thup:



She is 15 john. We are of course talking about the "indoor generation" who can barely wash their hands without watching a you tube video on how to do it . :roll:

Right. You need to take this in hand.



By the age of 15 my daughters could strip the engine, transmission and suspension from the car, and use most of the power tools in the garage.



My granddaughter is BARELY TEN yet before this madness she was out helping me dismantle the decking, erecting and riveting the new steel shed etc etc



My view being that if they want to pay the AA to come out and rescue them (as I do) then that should be one of multiple options available to them including rolling their sleeves up picking up a monkey wrench and swearing like a trooper when they break their manicured fingernails....



Seriously, if she wants her room done, then buy the paint and the dust sheets and bunny suit and stand back

[Thomas]

How far along from "teenage" to "twentysomething" are we talking, I ask because B&Q do click and collect, B&M have (round here) reopened their hardware aisles after the plod who told them to shut them has been shown just how easily the implements therein will cut him a new arsehole, and surely your daughter will at some time wish to have a place of her own that will need decorating, so now is a bloody good time to let her get some practice...



And before you ask, yes, i tried that, i think that was the second time i got stabbed with decorating scissors...

:thup:



She is 15 john. We are of course talking about the "indoor generation" who can barely wash their hands without watching a you tube video on how to do it . :roll:

[Borchester]

My last trip to asda was .. eventful.



Did i say this already ?  Anyway, strong sunlight overloads my optic nerve and triggers a sneezing fit.



So I'm forced to queue for ages and the sun is looking like it's going to hit me full in the face and I JUST have time to shout "can i have everyone's attention I recently had an eye operation and it's fine but striong sunlight makes me sneeze and Ahhhhhhh.....CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"



Three people ducked and the security chappie offered me priority access to the front of the queue !

I have to say that I found certain advantages in being generally disgusting  

[johnofgwent]

I am fine thanks Barry. I had some bug that knocked me out for a day or so and since then have been taking things so easy that I am practically going backwards. The only problem is that all the paint and plaster dust is getting up my nose, which means that I spend most of my time coughing and sneezing. And that in turn means that when I go out folk cross the road to avoid me and shelter in the next borough.    

My last trip to asda was .. eventful.



Did i say this already ?  Anyway, strong sunlight overloads my optic nerve and triggers a sneezing fit.



So I'm forced to queue for ages and the sun is looking like it's going to hit me full in the face and I JUST have time to shout "can i have everyone's attention I recently had an eye operation and it's fine but striong sunlight makes me sneeze and Ahhhhhhh.....CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"



Three people ducked and the security chappie offered me priority access to the front of the queue !

[Borchester]

How are you, Borchester? Are you still off colour or have you shaken whatever it is, off?

I am fine thanks Barry. I had some bug that knocked me out for a day or so and since then have been taking things so easy that I am practically going backwards. The only problem is that all the paint and plaster dust is getting up my nose, which means that I spend most of my time coughing and sneezing. And that in turn means that when I go out folk cross the road to avoid me and shelter in the next borough.    

[johnofgwent]

something I think you might be interested in which i heard from a chap i used to drink with at the jazz club before he retired to madeira ...



First that, well, he's not just a chap i know from the jazz club, he was actually asked to become a member of the royal society for his work on the destruction of viral envelopes by ultraviolet light.



Nobody in the UK seems to want to listen to him but he can actually prove the easiest way to reduce the viral load in all those poor bloody icu patients is to wire them up to the equivalent of a dialysis machine that takes the blood it receives passes it between two quartz plates and gives it the tanning studio's "sheesh, he blacker than us" UV setting.



For those of us feeling a bit under the weather, i heartily recommend exposing as much skin as you think your neighbours will tolerate to the current 1250 watts per square metre beating down out of a largely cloud free sky, with a s little sun factor you can get away with, without burning



Because the uv in question IS beating down with that 1250 watts and it WILL do some damage to anything viral in your surface capillaries... and every little helps as TosserCo say...



And if that is not the finest excuse i have ever heard to go take a couple of bottles a glass and a bottle opener into the garden i do not know what it.



I'm signing off now, two bottles of something about 3 and a half percent that the wife brought back from Lidl need my attention ...

[johnofgwent]

Your no wrong there borkie. I was up a ladder painting the other day and pulled a muscle in my back , im in feckin agony. On top of that my ears are getting nipped big time , not just the wife but the teenage daughter now getting in on the act. She wants her bedroom decorated.  





Sounds good borkie. To be honest  , ive never been much of a gardener. Rather than growing things , im better described as a "destroyer". You want something cut down  ,im your man.



Garden to me is simply for cutting the grass , sitting down lighting the barbecue and having a beer. The wife likes her gardening though , we moved in here about two years ago and we are still doing the place up  , so a lot of work still to do before she starts growing things and putting up a greenhouse.







Yep.

How far along from "teenage" to "twentysomething" are we talking, I ask because B&Q do click and collect, B&M have (round here) reopened their hardware aisles after the plod who told them to shut them has been shown just how easily the implements therein will cut him a new arsehole, and surely your daughter will at some time wish to have a place of her own that will need decorating, so now is a bloody good time to let her get some practice...



And before you ask, yes, i tried that, i think that was the second time i got stabbed with decorating scissors...

[Thomas]

I'm off the tubigrip and i can limp round the garden !



I have been the walking dead since about 2009 thomas. I went from being an admittedly overweight, but active PADI divemaster with the unchallenged speed record for rescuing a drowning idiot (not one of my students !!)  from a sea fit for an old spice ad to a complete wreck, and all down to stress and a stupid, stupid injury to the achilles tendon running for a god-damm bus. I put on four stone in four weeks and it has been hell, and will be the death of me.



I have always maintained the opinion that mobility is the key to everything. Look at these people in these programmes on TV pushing the morbidly obese 35+ stone. They are in deep sh*t because they can no longer support their own weight. It is a fact that potential energy = mass x gravity x height, and if you do the calculation, you find the 24 stone man i was at the worst of my weight was able to shed a whole calorie just by walking u along a pavement with a gradient and height difference of one metre. Now admittedly that assumes a piss poor food / energy / heat conversion but when you have to stop many times as you climb to the top of a six storey hill in Newport, I think it a fair calculation !



Anyway,  now have half a bleeding stone to shed to get back to where i was before i injured myself, fortunately the road outside my house loops in a one mile circuit from here to the M4 and back, and climbs 50 metres as it does so.  Or there is a ton (literally) of wood from brambles and hewn trees to heft.



I might be the chippendale the wife married again yet (!)

 :thup:

[Thomas]

Or in my case, the shuffling from computer chair to kitchen to makes some coffee and then sitting down again to enjoy it. Stuff this hard work never hurt anyone lark, I ain't taking the risk.

Your no wrong there borkie. I was up a ladder painting the other day and pulled a muscle in my back , im in feckin agony. On top of that my ears are getting nipped big time , not just the wife but the teenage daughter now getting in on the act. She wants her bedroom decorated.  

The new allotment is under control, or at least a year on year one. I am going to very slowly chip away at its rock like surface, chuck in some potatoes and top it up with wood chip, grass cutting and any other rubbish that is lying around. The result will be that bit by bit the soil will get easier and easier to work until a day's graft will consist of moving my deck chair from one spot to another to catch the maximum amount of sun.

Sounds good borkie. To be honest  , ive never been much of a gardener. Rather than growing things , im better described as a "destroyer". You want something cut down  ,im your man.



Garden to me is simply for cutting the grass , sitting down lighting the barbecue and having a beer. The wife likes her gardening though , we moved in here about two years ago and we are still doing the place up  , so a lot of work still to do before she starts growing things and putting up a greenhouse.

Homewise, things are a bit trickier. The problem is that the womenfolk don't want things better, they just want them different, usually from the idea they had ten minutes ago.

Yep.

[Barry]

How are you, Borchester? Are you still off colour or have you shaken whatever it is, off?

[Borchester]

look after yerself john. FFS what a right bunch we all are , the walking dead.

Or in my case, the shuffling from computer chair to kitchen to makes some coffee and then sitting down again to enjoy it. Stuff this hard work never hurt anyone lark, I ain't taking the risk.



The new allotment is under control, or at least a year on year one. I am going to very slowly chip away at its rock like surface, chuck in some potatoes and top it up with wood chip, grass cutting and any other rubbish that is lying around. The result will be that bit by bit the soil will get easier and easier to work until a day's graft will consist of moving my deck chair from one spot to another to catch the maximum amount of sun.



Homewise, things are a bit trickier. The problem is that the womenfolk don't want things better, they just want them different, usually from the idea they had ten minutes ago.

[cromwell]

Mod notice

Whole lot of posts moved to off topic thread

[johnofgwent]

look after yerself john. FFS what a right bunch we all are , the walking dead.

I'm off the tubigrip and i can limp round the garden !



I have been the walking dead since about 2009 thomas. I went from being an admittedly overweight, but active PADI divemaster with the unchallenged speed record for rescuing a drowning idiot (not one of my students !!)  from a sea fit for an old spice ad to a complete wreck, and all down to stress and a stupid, stupid injury to the achilles tendon running for a god-damm bus. I put on four stone in four weeks and it has been hell, and will be the death of me.



I have always maintained the opinion that mobility is the key to everything. Look at these people in these programmes on TV pushing the morbidly obese 35+ stone. They are in deep shit because they can no longer support their own weight. It is a fact that potential energy = mass x gravity x height, and if you do the calculation, you find the 24 stone man i was at the worst of my weight was able to shed a whole calorie just by walking u along a pavement with a gradient and height difference of one metre. Now admittedly that assumes a piss poor food / energy / heat conversion but when you have to stop many times as you climb to the top of a six storey hill in Newport, I think it a fair calculation !



Anyway,  now have half a bleeding stone to shed to get back to where i was before i injured myself, fortunately the road outside my house loops in a one mile circuit from here to the M4 and back, and climbs 50 metres as it does so.  Or there is a ton (literally) of wood from brambles and hewn trees to heft.



I might be the chippendale the wife married again yet (!)

[Thomas]

Apart from me. I have my lower left leg in a tubigrip to stop the infection caused when I tried to clear the jungle from rising all the way up like it did 15 years ago, to give oral.antibiotics a fighting chance when ideally I'd be an in patient getting them intravenously. So I cant do much except play test nuking wuhan in flight simulator...

look after yerself john. FFS what a right bunch we all are , the walking dead.