I feel as though I am in the middle of a maelstrom of shit advice..

[Borchester]

If she's anything like mine, it will probably be cheaper to just pay the 16 grand and have done with it

To be honest DD, the thought had crossed my mind as well 

[Borchester]

Cook dinner, make a hot drink for her, let her put her feet up while you massage them and APOLOGISE. She is stressed at the argument with the Council. doesn't want the debt and is worried. She has done the inevitable and shifted her anxieties into a row mainly because you probably didn't stop and listen to her worries. Sometimes all we really want is an ear to listen while we sound off. Stop, turn off all tech and just listen.

Men from Mars - when will they ever learn? My husband was an exception. He would stop, look at me, let me get it said, then commiserate - it worked!

Listen?

You are a good lass Toots but you come up with some funny ideas at times 

[papasmurf]

Three years ago we got a letter from the local council asking for £37,000 as our part of the repairs to our flat.

Why are you perceived to be liable for any repairs to a council flat?

[T00ts]

Cook dinner, make a hot drink for her, let her put her feet up while you massage them and APOLOGISE. She is stressed at the argument with the Council. doesn't want the debt and is worried. She has done the inevitable and shifted her anxieties into a row mainly because you probably didn't stop and listen to her worries. Sometimes all we really want is an ear to listen while we sound off. Stop, turn off all tech and just listen.

Men from Mars - when will they ever learn? My husband was an exception. He would stop, look at me, let me get it said, then commiserate - it worked!

[Borg Refinery]

Except that Herself has just seen the letter and come out with more crap than the Beckton Sewage works.

I thought you had her beat on that.    A poke indeed..

Only messin'. Nonetheless, what are the repairs and can't you just get them done with someone cheaper yourselves? Or are they Nazis about that?

I pictured you living in a terraced house for some reason, but you stated you had several kids, so I guess a lot of your income must have gone on them.

Nonetheless, don't they help you out? Surely that's how it should be and why aren't they joining in the fray to help you haggle the council down. Maybe get some advocacy from the kinds of groups you constantly moan about who help council tenants and such.  The more of you there are to kick up a big fuss (and threaten lawsuits) the more scared they get - a local councillor told me that councils are so scared of lawsuits that they bend easily, can't afford to lose money. Maybe you can invite smurf down to bore them to submission with tales of shooting tourists and his gas stove and shed?

[DeppityDawg]

the best idea might be for her to bugger off and buy a new frock

If she's anything like mine, it will probably be cheaper to just pay the 16 grand and have done with it

[Borchester]

Three years ago we got a letter from the local council asking for £37,000 as our part of the repairs to our flat. So I wrote back and said I would very much like them to do the work for nothing with the result that the final demand is now down to £16,000. I figure that is is better than a poke in the eye with a dry stick but still hope to get it down further.

Except that Herself has just seen the letter and come out with more crap than the Beckton Sewage works.

I won't go into details but I merely suggested that should she wish to take over negotiations she was free to do so, but from where I was sitting she did not know her arse from her elbow and the best idea might be for her to bugger off and buy a new frock.

So then she threw a strop and stormed out. And she will come back in a worse mood because I think Brent Cross is still shut and she does not really like Oxford Street.

As I have said so often before, damn good idea women, but funny buggers at times