Are there any experts on here?

[Thomas]

Im a specialist which is of course a notch above an expert

 ::





Feckin muck spreader. ::

[Baron von Lotsov]

Look, we are all expert keyboard warriors.

We may have expertise in certain areas, but revealing that points to our real non keyboard warrior personage. Some of us like our anonymity, "Baron von Lotsov".  ::

I take it your area of expertise is all points from sh*t to rhubarb.

I'm an expert in knowing what you are going to say. The last line was dead cert odds.



However, I'm just starring to think you might have been 007 when you were younger. Most people are happy to talk about themselves, but not you.

[Barry]

This is mad. We have some experts, but they wont say what they are expert in.

Look, we are all expert keyboard warriors.

We may have expertise in certain areas, but revealing that points to our real non keyboard warrior personage. Some of us like our anonymity, "Baron von Lotsov".  ::

I take it your area of expertise is all points from sh*t to rhubarb.

[papasmurf]

See ,he was a non expert in whatever you were persuaded to believe he was an expert in

Actually he very much is an expert, that was the third time someone has lied about me and had to settle out of court and write an apology and a retraction.

[Streetwalker]

They will if you pay them enough. The last time I needed one it cost me £500, but I did get £1500 in an out of court settlement.

So £1000 for me.

See ,he was a non expert in whatever you were persuaded to believe he was an expert in

[Baron von Lotsov]

They will if you pay them enough. The last time I needed one it cost me £500, but I did get £1500 in an out of court settlement.

So £1000 for me.

The trouble is that if you don't know what they are an expert in and there is no proof in anything they say that they have the slightest handle on the problem, then unless you were recruiting for the government, you would hardly send cash in their direction.



Anyhow in meeting these experts socially their most often used phrase is "You can't do that" but leave you completely in the dark as why not. They are like poker players. One becomes sceptical as to how many and what cards they actually hold.

[papasmurf]

This is mad. We have some experts, but they wont say what they are expert in.

They will if you pay them enough. The last time I needed one it cost me £500, but I did get £1500 in an out of court settlement.

So £1000 for me.

[Baron von Lotsov]

This is mad. We have some experts, but they wont say what they are expert in.



I used to get people who declared, hey you're doing it completely the wrong way. Me, I'd say OK, but which way is the right way. Then they would say, well you're supposed to know.



This kind 'a thing is uncanny because typically the man in the street (known as the Reasonable Man in law) would think, hey we have these experts because they are supposed to know stuff, but it feels like trying to operate a cash machine with a duff card. You could plug it in any number of times but not get anything useful out of the expert.

[papasmurf]

Say you want to employ a Plumber ,

Where I live plumbers are as rare as rocking horse poo and Unicorns, which is why have to do Destroy-It-Yourself plumbing.

[Streetwalker]

It hardly helps if you don't even tell us.

It doesn't matter what it is because its actually quite irrelevant . Its just a word that describes what you should be ,and advertising slogan if you like in attempt to put yourself above the competition .



Say you want to employ a Plumber , would you employ a plumber or an expert plumber ? The plumber is a plumber that should be an expert  ,the expert plumber is a plumber that thinks he's an expert .  No difference .

Theres a guy with a van I see occasionally it says , "All brickwork, Pointing specialist" on the side . That tells me hes a pretty rubbish bricklayer that does a bit of pointing so hes not actually a specialist in anything just not very good at anything else .

[johnofgwent]

I have a postgraduate qualification allowing me to present myself as such in certain fields to a uk court and be paid as an expert witness but it's been 35 years since I used it.



So I am indeed an ex spurt ...

[Baron von Lotsov]

Im a specialist which is of course a notch above an expert

It hardly helps if you don't even tell us.

[Barry]

I used to be an expert, but that knowledge is now either irrelevant or overtaken by events. Now I am an expert loafer.  

[Streetwalker]

Im a specialist which is of course a notch above an expert

[papasmurf]

X the unknown quantity, spurt, a drip under pressure.