Eulogies. Have you ever thought you were at the wrong funeral?

[johnofgwent]

My best man's father was an industrial pharmacist. He died of some singularly unpleasant cancer caused by his research work. No compo though seeing as he set the company up.

His funeral was surreal.

The family occupied the front third of the church

The car park looked like a cross between Top Gear and H.R.Owen's Canary Wharf showroom. I wore a £350 Business suit (this was the late 80's) and i looked singularly scruffy.

The reason was the other two thirds of the church was filled with the good folk of the CBI and Round Table, Freemasons and other suchlike, twenty civic dignitaries rattling their chains and a couple of minor foreign royals including my friend the then 40th or so in line to the Saudi throne, who unsurprisingly was on first name terms with my mum's elder brother (through a working relationship between Aziz's dad and said uncle from his days of sanction breaking)

The worst bit was the eulogy delivered by the CEO of a rival pharmaceutical outfit then independent but now swallowed up by glaxo smith kline wellcome whatever.

Look, Uncle George and this other bloke were in the business i used to be in with Azuz, strangely enough. Research biochemistry. I know the guy actually hated George's very existence and orobably dank an entire case of the Macallen single cask special reserve to celebrate his death.

But here he was pontificating and actually shedding tears. Christ, what an actor he was...

[papasmurf]

True.

We buried my cousin a while back and the priest described the time he had fallen off a ski lift. Nice bloke my cousin, but falling off the ski lift was about the only interesting thing that had ever happened to him and the priest really had to pad that story out.

When it comes to accident proneness, two of the funerals I have been to it would have taken days to relate all the disasters/accidents/self inflicted injuries they had been involved in.

[Borchester]

Cant say I have , I wouldn't go to a funeral of anyone I didn't know very well . Having said that most of our life stories would bore everyone to death so making some stuff up to spice up proceedings dosen't do any harm

True.

We buried my cousin a while back and the priest described the time he had fallen off a ski lift. Nice bloke my cousin, but falling off the ski lift was about the only interesting thing that had ever happened to him and the priest really had to pad that story out.

[Streetwalker]

Eulogies. Have you ever thought you were at the wrong funeral?  It has happened to me fairly often. All is well until the Eulogy, when the person being described bears no relation to the person you knew.

Cant say I have , I wouldn't go to a funeral of anyone I didn't know very well . Having said that most of our life stories would bore everyone to death so making some stuff up to spice up proceedings dosen't do any harm 

[papasmurf]

 I am only there to make sure the bastard is dead.

Quite, sometimes I have wondered if a wooden stake or a silver bullet is required.

[Borchester]

Eulogies. Have you ever thought you were at the wrong funeral?  It has happened to me fairly often. All is well until the Eulogy, when the person being described bears no relation to the person you knew.

All the time, particularly when the vicar gets up an starts describing what a warm, lovely human being the deceased was and I am only there to make sure the bastard is dead.

My favourite was at my sister in law's funeral. She was a lovely person but as tough as old boots and when the priest stated to rattle on about his gentle, retiring nature we realised that not only he gotten her nature and sex wrong, he was also a youk at a Jewish funeral.

[papasmurf]

Eulogies. Have you ever thought you were at the wrong funeral?  It has happened to me fairly often. All is well until the Eulogy, when the person being described bears no relation to the person you knew.