DD Productions...the new (old) shed...

[papasmurf]

I can only assume that you are drinking. Mrs Dawg really needs to sort you out.   ::  ::

That is why he is banished to the shed.

[T00ts]

You love it really Tootsie baby. Good job we weren't at the same school! I'd have gotten you detention faster than you could say "plastic ruler"  

I can only assume that you are drinking. Mrs Dawg really needs to sort you out.   ::  ::

[DeppityDawg]

You really are incorrigible!   :shock:

You love it really Tootsie baby. Good job we weren't at the same school! I'd have gotten you detention faster than you could say "plastic ruler"  

[T00ts]

You really are incorrigible!   :shock:

[DeppityDawg]

Today's episode of the Allotment shed is bought to you by the letters...B...v...L  ::

[DeppityDawg]

Rubbish song...but music had nothing to do with why Shirlie was on the inside of my locker door...and Sam Fox...erm...and Kate Bush...and Linda Lusardi...err

[DeppityDawg]

Specially for Barry  ::

[DeppityDawg]

[DeppityDawg]

I've got the bug...not D Ream...D...mobbed... ::



Specially for Mrs Dawg  

[Bright Young Thing]

Yay  ::  :: always loved the shed, a chance for the girls to let the boys think they've got one over us...but they never do!

PS - too tired to think up a witty post but rest assured I will return tomorrow with  nice bottle of pink gin and some mixers. Get the hoover out Dawg, and Oli, get that armchair repaired (properly this time please, duct tape and WD40 DO NOT fix everything!)

[Barry]

Crikey DD, you must have a lot of old crud saved on that computer of yours.

Anyway

This is Steve C Taylor's shed:

https://www.wood-finishes-direct.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/rundown-old-wood-shed.jpg">

and here is Bazmin's shed:

https://content.gardenbuildingsdirect.co.uk/images/products/18767/sizes/26048/20x10_expert_tongueandgroove_windowed_apex_shed_l01.jpg">

Best get knocking it about a bit.

Where's BYT's supply of Buckie?

[Bright Young Thing]

Yay  ::  :: always loved the shed, a chance for the girls to let the boys think they've got one over us...but they never do!

[DeppityDawg]

Well some of the seagulls have flown off in a huff because I wont say I didn't know what I was voting for or I'm stupid either and apparently I don't care also,oh sod it I don't care.



Anyway they're coming back in ten years to gloat because we'll be scraping an existence on the brexit tip instead of living the high life on the eu one,how long do seagulls live btw?

I'm not saying who is who  ::



Anyway...brings back pissed up dancing like an idiot in the Landsman with lots of gorgeous German girls. "She doesn't have anything you want to steal...well, nothing you can touch"  ::

[cromwell]

Well some of the seagulls have flown off in a huff because I wont say I didn't know what I was voting for or I'm stupid either and apparently I don't care also,oh sod it I don't care.



Anyway they're coming back in ten years to gloat because we'll be scraping an existence on the brexit tip instead of living the high life on the eu one,how long do seagulls live btw?

[DeppityDawg]

You;ll have to bear with it, Tootsie baby...



Anyway, specially for Javert, this old chugger from the old forum (...I found where I wrote it down  :: ). It nails the fecking lot of you  ::



https://i.ibb.co/GPTPXRJ/Seagulls.jpg">



I was driving to work the other day, and for some reason, I noticed a load of seagulls in a ploughed field. This was the (probable) conversation...



*Lots of squawking and cawling*

Seagull 1: Guys...guys...please guys...can I have your attention....guys...

Still lots of squawking and fluttering

Seagull 2: Guys, please...can we have your attention, please....

*noise dies down*

Seagull 1: *clears throat*...ok guys, I expect you're all wondering why I've called you all together...

*general mutterings of suspicion among the gathered birds*

Seagull 44: Ok then, why are we fecking here?

Seagull 26: Yeah, c'mon we haven't got all day...

Seagull 1: Well...its about the EU...

Seagull 17: Whats the EU?

Seagull 37: Yeah...whats that?

Seagull 21: It's the fecking European Union you idiot...

*general pushing and shoving among the birds*

Seagull 2: Yes, that's right....its the European Union...

Seagull 14: Ok ok, so what about it...?

Seagull 1: ...well, we need to decide whether we are staying in it or leaving it...

Seagull 26: ...why?

Seagull 17: ...yeah, why?

Seagull 2: ....well...because lots of you have complained about it?

Seagull 9: Yeah, its fecking shit...

*general murmurings of dissatisfaction among a group of the birds*

Seagull 11: ok, so...how do we decide that...?

Seagull 2: Well, we are going to have a referendum.

Seagull 17: Whats a referendum?

Seagull 21: oh for feck sake

Seagull 1: A referendum to decide if we are leaving the EU

Seagull 14: ...erm   ok....how

Seagull 2: Well, we're going to have a show of wings...

General pushing and shoving and murmuring among the birds

Seagull 1: so...all those in favour of leaving the EU raise your wing...

*about 52% of the birds raise their wing*

Seagull 1: and all those in favour of staying in the EU, raise your wing

*about 48% of the birds raise their wing

*general squawking and cawling among the birds, dies down....*

Seagull 2: so...that seems pretty conclusive...we are leaving the EU then...

*more general squawking and cawling among the birds*

Seagull 21: hang on, hang on...we can't do that....

Seagull 2: erm... why not? we just had a referendum?

Seagull 38: ...err...well...most of these idiots didn't know what they were voting for?

Seagull 62: Second referendum, second referendum...quack quack!!

Seagull 47: hey! Feck off square beak, who are you calling an idiot?

Seagull 30: yeah, feck off you tosser...

*general squawking and cawling among the birds*

Seagull 1: guys guys, please....

Seagull 72: no he's right...we need a second referendum...

Seagull 9: But why...we just had one...

Seagull 62: Second referendum, second referendum...quack quack!!

Seagull 17: Hey what are you? A fecking duck?

Seagull 38: Look, some of these birds don't even know what the EU is...

Seagull 21: yeah, and it's not really a majority because not everyone turned up...

Seagull 2: but everyone was invited?

Seagull 16: yes, but you can't say a majority voted to leave the EU if they aren't even here!

Seagull 29: What about the EU fishing policy? We are all Seagulls, we'll all be affected?

Seagull 16: yeah, what about the fishing policy?

Seagull 38: Guys look, I've done some calculations about how many Seagulls it takes to change a lightbulb...

Seagull chorus : Oh for feck sake shut up you boring ****, ....

Seagull 2: look guys, we've had a referendum and decided to leave the EU...

Seagull 21: Nope, sorry, no can do...we need a "Seagulls vote" first....

Seagull 9: But we've just had a fecking Seagulls vote haven't we?

Seagull 21: well, that doesn't count because we lost

Seagull 62: Second referendum, second referendum...quack quack!!

Seagull 72: Guys Look! Look! the sardine cannery is closing because we decided to leave the EU...it keeps us in jobs...what will we do when it closes?

Seagull 11: We are fecking Seagulls you idiot...we don't have jobs...

Seagull 21: Yeah, he's right...our GDP will fall by a squillion per cent...

Seagull 9: Feck off, the German Seagulls need us for their exports

Seagull 29: What exports?

Seagull 77: Its well known this farm has a history of robbing and stealing from the rest of the county, and this sounds like all you lot of leaver Seagulls are just hankering after the past...

Seagull 15: Do you even live on this farm?

Seagull 77: well...no actually....

Seagull 9: So what the feck is it to do with you?

Seagull 77: Racist!

Seagull 15: Feck off you daft c**t

Seagull 62: Second referendum, second referendum...quack quack!!

Seagull 64: I think female Seagulls can't be lawyers and are crap drivers...oh bum, do I sound like Im 14 years old?

Seagull 9: What the feck has that got to do with leaving the EU?

Seagull 64: I saw it on You tube

Seagull 48: I think all you leavers are silly and you smell of wee

Seagull 11: hey... you look like that Seagull that got banned?

Seagull 17: Don't be fecking stupid...how would you know? We all look the fecking same!

Seagull 27: *guffaw guffaw* Behind all this nationalism and fascism is nationalism and fascism...this is what happened in Germany in the 30s

Seagull 7: Yes that's right, those Seagulls over there who want to leave the EU are Nationalist nazi racists nasty people and I hate you hate you hate hate you! *stamps claws*

Seagull 64: What...Seagulls invaded Poland?

Seagull 9: 2 world wars and 1 world cup!!!

Seagull 77: you leaver Seagulls are obsessed with the war

Seagull 15: My dad flew over Berlin...he turned left at Grimsby instead of right

Seagull 19: Shut up...if we are leaving the EU, then what's the plan?

Seagull 2: erm...the plan...um....

Seagull 21: Yes, the plan...you do have one, right?

Seagull 1: Well, obviously we have a plan...we're going to leave...

Seagull 16: then what?

Seagull 2: well...we haven't got to that bit yet...

Seagull 21: you mean, there isn't a plan?

Seagull 62: Second referendum, second referendum...quack quack!!

Seagull 1: I'm negotiating with the EU Seagulls right now...

Seagull 16: You're not, you're in this fecking field

Seagull 33: Look that's all besides the point...who are Seagull 1 and Seagull 2 to decide we should have a referendum anyway...

Seagull 2: erm...he's Seagull 1...you all elected him as leader...in an election....

Seagull 56: Did we...I don't remember that... oh yeah...I didn't vote...

Seagull9: Hard Brexit!!

Seagull 21: I didn't vote for hard brexit ...

Seagull 9: Yeah, you voted for that liberal lefty idiot Seagull 7

Seagull 7: I demand an apology...

Seagull 9: Yeah I'm sorry...I meant liberal lefty wan*er Seagull 7

*scuffle breaks out, but is soon pulled apart*

Seagull 38: I want to make a complaint...those Seagulls over there said some nasty things about me!

Seagull 9: Well, you said they were idiots and didn't know what they were voting for!

Seagull 38: I know...but I'm a special Seagull...my mummy said so.

Seagull 7: Look, we need a new government led by Jeremy Corbyn....

Seagull 20: Erm...Jeremy Corbyn isn't a Seagull is he?

Seagull 72: This government doesn't represent us....

Seagull 2: But we won an election...

Seagull 21: Democracy has been hijacked by nazis!

Seagull 9: Well, lets have another election and elect a new Seagull to lead us then!

Seagull 21: Erm...no, first we need to stop a no deal exit.

Seagull 1: I'm going to suspend the Seagull council

Uproar breaks out...